Fan Fiction
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That’s Fucked – (Chapter: Who really needs a title?)
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“What is the purpose of discussing things like that? I am actually not to sure what you are talking about anyway.” Ashley sat down with her girlfriend Spencer trying to keep whatever she could covered by what little clothing she did wear.
Spencer traced the outer edge of her glass of ice water and with her thumb wiped away the smudge of borrowed lipstick. A dull shade of pink, her mother’s perhaps. Definitely did not suit Ashley it was far too girly. Give her a three-inch skirt and some dark red lipstick and she would be set for a night on the town.
Spencer’s brow furrowed slightly and extrapolated upon what she had desperately wanted to discuss for an entire season, uh I mean school year. A short school year. A school year in which they did not even go to class, or do homework. They did find the time to sit and drink ice cold “water” at bars that EVERY teen would be allowed into and served. Spencer was confused, but obviously not by that. Well actually she was but it wasn’t what she had wanted to talk about, at least now.
“I am just saying what the hell happened over a few months. Last sea—I mean, week there was all this tension between us and now we seem like BFF and not a teen couple. Rosie O’Donnell dry humping Elton John while Barbara Walters watched would be hotter than what we have on screen. I meant now…Not on screen.’
Ashley paled as her face contorted into a look of disgust “Thank you so much for putting that image in my mind.”
Spencer continued unabated. “Did you ever notice that when I acttt…. uh, I mean talk,” Uncomfortable clearing of throat and then she continued, “ That I look like a chipmunk tweaking on crystal meth?”
A signature roll of her eyes, Ashley nodded fervently in response to Spencer’s claims and explained, “Maybe that is why we don’t have chemistry.” That was an insensitive of Ashley to say to her (cough) “girlfriend”, but since Ms. Davies’ lobotomy she had become more self-centered and bratty and just mean. Ashley, as what was now considered usual, ignored the hurt look and continued with a cheery smile. “As for right now I think we should watch Aiden make out with my sister while ripping off his shirt, and then we can come back to us and we can have a hot sweaty session of us braiding each others hair. OR if we want to be really racy we can have a quick peck on the cheek and then Aiden can pin me to his bed while topless.”
“Now that sounds really hot.” Spencer said smiling. Her previous concerns were gone from her pretty blonde head along with the insecurity and fear of Ashley leaving her, or the desire of actually having a girlfriend who was nice, caring and interested in her.
None of that mattered! This is South of Nowhere. Where plots seem to die or go off onto weird tangents and characters can magically appear or change whom they are. And all is right with the world as long as you are a lesbian couple who doesn’t kiss or show affection in any way.
Maybe we can hope for a change, but who really cares?
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Lol wow…you definitely brought out what basically every spashley fan is thinking. I really liked it…good job…:)
Have you been stalking me and my posts on the message boards or are you a mind reader? Because I was thinking the same thing. “Rosie O’Donnell dry humping Elton John while Barbara Walters watched would be hotter than what we have on screen”. “I look like a chipmunk tweaking on crystal meth?”Ok, that was kinda mean….I’m really sensitive about (MY) Spencer but I LMAO. I Loved Ashley, too….. Well, I didn’t this season but, I loved your post. PMS Thanks for sharing, I really needed a laugh:)
WHY THE nc-17 RATING…………THAT GOT MY ATTENTION.
Ok, that was DEAD ON! Wow. You took the thoughts in my head and put them into sentence structure. That was amazing and I’ll never forget it. You pretty much condensed season 2 into a few paragraphs. And I’ve read all your previous posts. You are on hell of a writer. I send my love and gratitude to you in hopes that maybe you continue to write…or just make some more insightful observations, whatever floats your boat. :)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAlove you.
hahahahahaha*points up* i agree with clomle. hahahahaha i loved it, and you for being the one to write it out.
That’s so right… you hit the nail on the head!! Seems unfair that the boy gets to make out and the girls have to settle for a peck.
All I have to say is…HOW TRUE!
LMFAO! That was good and pretty dead on with what I thought throughout season 2. I mean, though I still luv the show, this season is not what I expected and left me with “what the hell is going on” thoughts and disappointment on the lack of intimacy between Spence and Ash. Oh well, I shall go watch my season one re-runs now and hope for a better season 3.
That was to funny.
so true!!!!!!!! lol
very nicely done. Now just write that to the N and hopefully they fix season 3. Honestly, I was very disgruntled w/the finale, but really the whole season kind of sucked as far as Spashley chemistry (or really, as you point out, lack thereof). Why is it that the straight couple (Aiden/Kyla or really, Aiden/Ashley) look more like a couple than the gay one? My only hope is in fan fiction to resurrect these characters’ relationship. And hopefully, Tom Lynch and Rose Troche get the message next season and it doesn’t end up being another L word-type fiasco.
hahahahaha ok. that was sooo funny. sad. but funny. and true. god damn. we need to have fanfic writers switch places with the writers for the show for a couple episodes. pretty sure with the combined creative talents of true fans we could have a bomb ass season.
haha that was perfect!!! i think that is what evenone has been thinking! nicely done!
Lol wow…you definitely brought out what basically every spashley fan is thinking. I really liked it…good job…:)
Have you been stalking me and my posts on the message boards or are you a mind reader? Because I was thinking the same thing. “Rosie O’Donnell dry humping Elton John while Barbara Walters watched would be hotter than what we have on screen”. “I look like a chipmunk tweaking on crystal meth?”Ok, that was kinda mean….I’m really sensitive about (MY) Spencer but I LMAO. I Loved Ashley, too….. Well, I didn’t this season but, I loved your post. PMS Thanks for sharing, I really needed a laugh:)
WHY THE nc-17 RATING…………THAT GOT MY ATTENTION.
Ok, that was DEAD ON! Wow. You took the thoughts in my head and put them into sentence structure. That was amazing and I’ll never forget it. You pretty much condensed season 2 into a few paragraphs. And I’ve read all your previous posts. You are on hell of a writer. I send my love and gratitude to you in hopes that maybe you continue to write…or just make some more insightful observations, whatever floats your boat. :)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAlove you.
hahahahahaha*points up* i agree with clomle. hahahahaha i loved it, and you for being the one to write it out.
That’s so right… you hit the nail on the head!! Seems unfair that the boy gets to make out and the girls have to settle for a peck.
All I have to say is…HOW TRUE!
LMFAO! That was good and pretty dead on with what I thought throughout season 2. I mean, though I still luv the show, this season is not what I expected and left me with “what the hell is going on” thoughts and disappointment on the lack of intimacy between Spence and Ash. Oh well, I shall go watch my season one re-runs now and hope for a better season 3.
That was to funny.
so true!!!!!!!! lol
very nicely done. Now just write that to the N and hopefully they fix season 3. Honestly, I was very disgruntled w/the finale, but really the whole season kind of sucked as far as Spashley chemistry (or really, as you point out, lack thereof). Why is it that the straight couple (Aiden/Kyla or really, Aiden/Ashley) look more like a couple than the gay one? My only hope is in fan fiction to resurrect these characters’ relationship. And hopefully, Tom Lynch and Rose Troche get the message next season and it doesn’t end up being another L word-type fiasco.
hahahahaha ok. that was sooo funny. sad. but funny. and true. god damn. we need to have fanfic writers switch places with the writers for the show for a couple episodes. pretty sure with the combined creative talents of true fans we could have a bomb ass season.
haha that was perfect!!! i think that is what evenone has been thinking! nicely done!
OMG this freaking rocks! Because its sooo TRUE! And you rock even more for stating the obvious fact. I’m loving it so much and I need more because it just kicks ass! ;)
OMG this freaking rocks! Because its sooo TRUE! And you rock even more for stating the obvious fact. I’m loving it so much and I need more because it just kicks ass! ;)
“As for right now I think we should watch Aiden make out with my sister while ripping off his shirt, and then we can come back to us and we can have a hot sweaty session of us braiding each others hair. I laughed so hard reading that, that tears are rolling down my face! Thank you!
“As for right now I think we should watch Aiden make out with my sister while ripping off his shirt, and then we can come back to us and we can have a hot sweaty session of us braiding each others hair. I laughed so hard reading that, that tears are rolling down my face! Thank you!