The make up sex was fucking amazing. I couldn’t get enough of her and I can see now that even if I’d felt semething for Cherie, it’s over. Carmen is breathing against my shoulder, our libs tangled, the taste of her still moist on my lips. I wouldn’t be able to exist without it by now, I realize. It’s fucking terrifying, ’cause I’m not used to feel like that – this desperately dependent – but it also feels good. Safe. Like she’s never going to leave me, no matter what, no matter how much I fuck up. It’s overwhelming.

I turn my face into her cheek. "Tired?"

The corners of her mouth twitch, but she keeps her eyes closed. "Oh, yeah." And we both chuckle.

We still have some time left before we have to leave for the party at The Planet, so we don’t get up once the afterglow wears off, but we stay in bed together. I don’t like cuddling, not particularly, but with her it feels right, somehow. I don’t get that feeling as if I was giving too much of myself and freaking out ’cause it was against my very nature. I lay with her head tucked under my chin and I stare at the ceiling and I realize there’s no other place I’d rather be, no one else I’d rather be holding.

"You thinking about her?"

I blink. "What?" I frown. I must’ve spaced out.

She smooths her palm down my forearm casually. "I asked if you were thinking about her."

I tilt my head to look at her. She meets my gaze steadily and I have to admire her for that. Also, I’m pissed off she’s even asking. "You’re not serious, are you?" I knit my brows at her.

She shrugs. "I don’t know. I guess I am."

I exhale, incredulous, before leaning my head back on the pillow. "Shit, no," I reach up with my fists to rub at my eyes. "I wasn’t thinkin’ about her, Carmen. I’ve just fucked you, haven’t I?"

She’s the one raising her brows now. "Ohh, okay. I get it. When you fuck someone, they have your absolute attention."

I sigh. I shift, leaning up on my elbows, coming face to face with her. She still has that look on her face, like she’s aiming for a fight, even though moments ago she was all soft and drowsy from the afterglow. I don’t like the way this conversation is going, but I think I owe her. Yeah, totally.