Here i am sitting in my car dreading this fucking event that is about to take place but i know in my heart i have to tell her. I rather her hear it from me than someone else and most of all her…Andrea, her fucking best friend. It was a moment of weakness and i could really kick myself in the ass for doing it to her but i was lonely and not to mention highly intoxicated. I mean yeah i’m Ashley fucking Davies and i can get away with mostly anything but not this. I knew i loved her and i knew that this would probably break her heart but most of all i prayed to jesus, mary, joseph she didn’t walk out on me because i needed her. She’s my everything and so much more. So here i am waiting for her to text me back and tell me that she’ll come but i already know she will. I look up from my phone and i see her crossing the quad and heading over here to my car in the school parking lot. I should probably wait to tell her this until we get home but i can’t it hurts too much. As i’m deep in thought i hear a tap on my window and am met with piercing blue eyes. God i will miss those eyes if she decided to give up on us. I roll down my window and manage to give her a smile. "Hi," she says and instantly i feel like an asshole for what im about to do. Yes even the slightest hi she gives me is dripping with love. She leans down into the window and gives me a peck on the lips and she tastes like peaches. Hell yes i’m gonna miss that too. "So what’s up?" she asks and i look down at my hands. "Get in the car," i say and she quickly complies. i stare at my steering wheel while she gently slides into my leather seat and closes the door. "Ash babe what’s wrong?" she asks with so much concern in he voice and i want to rip my own fucking head off for what i’m about to tell her. I stare at her for what seems like forever, trying to gather up every single word i was going to say to her. Silence floods the interior of my 1967 mustang and spencer places her hand on my cheek. "What ever it is baby you know you can tell me." I’m not so sure this is true because everything im about to say is probably the complete opposite of what she wants to hear so i get on with it. Stalling is not the best choice here so i proceed to get it out. "ok spence what i’m about to say i know your not gonna like and i hate myself for doing what i di…" she cuts me off. "What exactly did you do Ashley?" Jesus she said my whole name and she only does that when she is mad or getting there. "let me get it all out first before you say anything." I take her hand. "Baby you know i love you with my whole heart and i would never do anything to intentionally hurt you and what took place kinda just happened. It was poor and utterly stupid judgment on my part and i was drunk. But what i’m trying to say is that ummm" my hands started getting sweaty and my face was growing hot. My heart was racing a mile a minute. "On saturday you know at Jessica’s party i got really drunk and i kinda had sex wiht Andrea." And then the silence grew defning. The last part sounded like it echoed off every glass window in my car and decided to stay in the fucking air. She was just looking at me, her eyes intense and penetrating. Truthfully it scared the shit out of me. "Spence please say something, i know that…" I felt the sting of her hand across my face and it shocked me to no avail. Her eyes filled with tears but i could see immediately she regretted what she did. "ok i deserved that but spencer it was a mistake i swear. IT didn’t mean anything, i was drunk, i didn’t know what i was doing. Please you have to forgive me." I reached out for her hand and she flinched. "Don’t…" she simply said and i could see this was going for the worse. I mean i didn’t expect it to go as smooth as silk but i didn’t expect her to slap me either. She took a deep breath and let that one tear roll down her face. I know she hated that it betrayed her, that one single tear, but afterwards she let the rest she was holding in slowly roll out as well. I reached to wipe them away and this time she let me. "Baby, spencer, please let me make it better, i’m sorry for what i did, it was stupid i was stupid and selfish and if i could rewind time and go back i would but i can’t and please, please, please tell me that we can work through this. Please tell me that we can make it through this and everything will get better eventually." She looks at me when i say this and i beg her with my eyes. She removes my hand from where it was placed on her cheek, grabbed her bag, and pulled the handle of my car door. I could see her slipping through my hands and i grab her wrist before she exits the car. "Please don’t go" I say just above a whisper and yet again another tear betrays her but not as bad as i betrayed her. She kisses the hand that i grabbed her wrist with and got out of the car. She shut the door and walked back towards the school and with every step she took i could literally hear her heart breaking. cachink, cachink, cachink was all i hear and i slamed my hand on the steering wheel. I was watching her walk out of my life and maybe for good and just that thought took its toll on me. My breathing hitched and my chest started to hurt. i knew i was having a panic attack but i told myself i deserved it for breaking her heart. I took deep breaths and soon it passed. I had finally got my sexscapade off of my chest and let me tell you it didn’t make me feel better or help. I highly don’t recomend it. I  hoped this wasn’t the end of us. I wanted her but most of all i needed her in my life. She was my everything and i was absolutely in love with her. But then i ask myself if i was truly in love with her would i have done that to her? Drunk or not? Although i had all of these questions running through my head at light speed the only one that stuck out like a fucking sore thumb was…What happens next? There was no way i was going to find the answer to that question any time soon so until then i would have to let time take its course. With this, I turned on the engine of my Mustang and drove out of the school parking lot…Things were so not going to be the same. anymore.