Names. We all have names. Nicknames, first names, last names. Different amounts of letters forming a shell. A door. A face for us to hide behind. You can change it. You can lie about it. You can, with the help of a name, turn into anyone you want. With a different name you could be a different person. Another human being. A new life that nobody knows of. A new persona people never met before.

But names don’t always come with faces. Or personalities. Names can come with a broken heart. Or a lost dog. A broken teddy bear or through old legends we love to retell. We use names for identification. For remembering. For reminding.

We live through our names. Syllables forming themselves in our mouths, revealing our titles. Our covers. And just like books, we tend to judge each other by it.

”So.. I’m sorry about yesterday.”

I feel this need to apologize. To explain. But I don’t want to. I don’t want to remember. And by telling him I’m sorry I only confirm what happened. I make it into a reality. A truth. A fact I don’t want to grasp. But I have to. And he deserves it.

“Listen, Ash, you don’t have to apologize for anything. It’s ok. I get it. I would be hurting too.”

I frown. I’m not hurting. He’s not allowed to talk about what I feel. I’m not hurting. I’m not even remembering.

“What? What are you talking about? I’m not hurting. Why would I be hurting?”

“Come on. Don’t play that card on me. I’ve known you long enough. I’ve known you both long enough to know what these past three years have been like for the two of you.”

He looks serious. He’s almost the one that looks hurt now.

“What do you mean, for us two? What have she told you?”

I’m thinking maybe she’s been hurting. Maybe she regrets it. Maybe she’s sorry. Maybe I am too. But I’m grasping the covers harder. Afraid that he might see. That he might notice. The cracks. The spots.

“Nothing. Forget it. Whatever. But just don’t. Don’t be like that. Not to me. You cried in my arms for almost an hour last night. It might have been the alcohol doing some talking but like I said, I know you Ash. And I understand.”