Chapter Three

My hand was throbbing. I looked down at the red mark on my palm from where I struck the door to Spencer’s room. I don’t think I broke it but I could have if I had tried harder.

I had been rejected by Spencer twice tonight. Once, at the school right after the shooting. Again, here in her room after she finally let everything sink in.

I wanted to explain to her how I felt. That the first person I thought of when all hell broke loose was her and only her. Not Aiden, not Kyla, not myself even; just her. She wouldn’t even let me explain.

She hated me for my failure to make a decision. She hated me for all the shit I had put her through especially these last few weeks. I never caught on to how much everything I did or did not do was taking a toll on her and our relationship.

And Aiden? I should have seen that he wasn’t with Kyla because he liked her. He was with her because she was close to me. I guess in his own sick way being with Kyla was like being with me only when he looked into her eyes as he kissed her it wasn’t my eyes that were looking back at him.

The night was a disaster and all I could do was think of Spencer. I loved her there was no doubt about that and the realization that I could have lost her scared me. Thoughts of my accusations of betrayal towards Spencer still rang in my head. She wasn’t trying to hurt me she was trying to protect us.

Why couldn’t I have seen all of this earlier? Why did a near-death experience have to shake me into realizing my feelings?

I lowered my head in my hands as I slumped down in the hospital chair right outside of Spencer’s door. I hadn’t moved since I left her in there alone. I should have gone back in but when I saw Glen walk past I decided to let them have a moment for their brother.

My heart nearly broke when I heard Glen yell loudly from inside the room. I stood up quickly afraid that something had happened to Spencer and peered through the window to find Glen pounding the side of the bed over and over.