Spencer and I lay in my bed, cuddled in front of my big screen TV watching some romantic comedy; only my mind really wasn’t on the movie. It’s been two months since prom and we’ve been doing well as a couple. A rough beginning but we’ve worked out most of our kinks so to speak, except one. She starts making out, pushing me and herself then pulls back. I know she wants to, I see it in her eyes every time she stops and apologizes.

For a while I didn’t understand, weeks would go by and we’d hardly kiss. Till one day, I’m not sure what happened but it helped me understand. She’s afraid to give up control, to give me that side of her again; afraid I’ll use her and throw her away. But I would never do that, ever.

She shifts slightly so her head is resting on my chest, my arms around her holding her close. I can smell the strawberry shampoo in her hair and its choking me, her body being pressed up against me is sending shock waves through my muscles. Placing a finger under her chin so she’s looking at me I lean down and place a feather light kiss on her lips causing her to smile. Soon she’s straddling me, hands roaming under my shirt on my stomach and abs but never coming toward my breasts. My left hand tangled in her blond hair urging her deeper into the kiss, my right hand caressing her thigh causing her to release my lips and turn toward the movie as if the moment wasn’t as hot and heated as it really was.

Sighing I excused myself to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door I stared in the mirror at my reflection. I wanted to push her, make her open up to me and then again I didn’t. Afraid that if I pushed to hard she’d pull away and I’d never get her back. But then again maybe she’s waiting for some one to push; nowadays no one seems to make her do anything, not even her parents. Since prom, since her brother’s death and her other brother leaving for the army, she’s been distant and cold. Maybe she just needed someone to melt the ice and push her, show her they cared.