“Spencer…I’ve been looking everywhere for you” mom said exhaustless while hugging me.

She pulled away and put an arm around my shoulders walking with me to the uncomfortable hospital chairs. We sit as she takes my hand in hers meeting our tired eyes.

“You’re father told you?”

I nodded, lowering my head, “so…what’s going on, mom? He’s going to be okay, right?”

She inhales before answering as fresh tears roll down her soaked cheeks while she gathers her words.

She’s finally able to look at me. “He…he’s not going to make it Spence…” she says in soft voice.

“Dad said it didn’t look good…but he’s going to be okay! He has to!”

She puts her hand on my shoulder, “Spence…there’s nothing more the doctors can do…” my eyes swell.

“No mom!” she pulls me tightly into a hug, “you have to fix him” I cry.

I pull away in frustration, “I want to see him!”

She shakes her head, “we can’t…not yet.”

I push off the chair angrily as I run out the hospital doors.

“Spencer!” I hear my mom yell.

I don’t know why I’m running. I have absolutely no idea why I’m so mad and why I did that to my mom. I just, I had to get out of there. I can’t handle all of this, not by myself at least. I want to see my brother I want to be able to help him. I want him to live.

 The bitterness subsides as tears roll down persistently down my cheeks, fogging where ever it is I’m heading to.

I let them fall.

It gets too much so I wipe them, trying to catch my breath as I finally near my destination.

“C’mon Spencer…you’ll be okay, I promise.”

I looked into Clay’s eyes, trusting him completely as he takes my hand walking me up the colorful stairs.

I stay close to him as he walks me now, across the bridge. I close my eyes as we finally reach my goal and first major challenge of a 6 year old girl. Terrified of heights and obviously a big yellow tunnel plunging towards the ground, he sits down having me do the same. I give him pleading eyes as he sticks out his hand for mine.