Ashley turned around and looked at Spencer holding her wrist. 

“Ashley, I…I don’t want you to leave” Spencer said with so much pent up emotion in her voice.  “Please, Ashley, I need you, please.” Spencer said frantically as she pushed Ashley up against the wall.

Spencer’s warm body pressed against Ashley’s as the blonde held her wrists up against the wall.  Ashley couldn’t speak; she knew this was so wrong. She couldn’t do this to Spencer, not now, not when Spencer was confused and hurting.  Ashley didn’t see desire in Spencer’s eyes; she only saw cold desperation and fear.  This wasn’t right; she couldn’t take advantage of the girl’s vulnerability.  Ashley had managed to completely confuse Spencer and now everything was falling in around her.  She looked away from Spencer’s face, she didn’t trust herself.

“Spencer…I…we…I can’t do this to you, not when you’re hurting, Spence, you don’t really want this, not now and not like this, you’re just confused and you think this will help take the pain way…. Trust me, it won’t Spence, it won’t. Please just trust me.” Ashley said pulling away from Spencer.

The fear in Spencer’s eyes quickly changed to anger at Ashley apparent rejection of her.

“Trust you? Trust you? How do you expect me to do that when you’re such a liar?” Spencer’s words were dripping with disdain.

“I trusted you Ashley, you let me love you, no, you let me love some fake.  Ashley you used me.” Spencer said.  “Why couldn’t you have been honest with me from the beginning, god Ashley you’re so selfish!” Spencer said spitting fire.  “I can’t be with someone who lies to me, and not even know if you truly love me or not, I can’t distinguish the truth from the lies. I can’t do this.” Spencer was letting her thoughts escape without control.  

“I hate you, Ashley” Spencer said and Ashley could see it in her eyes.

 That was it- the breaking point. Her heart shattered like glass when Spencer threw those final fatal words at it. 

Ashley dropped her head, she had nothing more to say in her defense, and she knew Spencer was completely justified in her feelings.  She clutched her chest trying to hold on to the last shreds of her strength.  She wanted to tell Spencer that she loved her so much, that she was dying inside, but that she would die for her so it didn’t matter…but she had no right to say it to Spencer, she had done too much irreparable damage. 

Ashley looked up at Spencer with defeat in her eyes, just trying to be as close to Spencer as she could for just a little bit longer. 

“I’m sorry Spencer, I won’t bother you anymore.” Ashley said trying to keep her voice steady.

Then she walked out the door.  She barely made it around the corner before she collapsed in tears on the sidewalk. 

The risk you take in giving your heart to someone is that when they give back to you, it’s always broken.

And down came the rain…….