Recap: (What the hell is going on with me?  I’m not gay.  At least, I don’t think so…)

I think that there’s a point in our lives where we all question who we really are.  We can even go so far as to say that we know exactly who we are but yet in an instant, all of what we thought we were, turns to shambles.  Shatters like glass and all we’re left with is questions.

Flashback

Spencer’s POV

            Ok, what is wrong with me?  I definitely don’t like girls.  Or do I?  There was Samantha Hallen in 9^th grade.  She was hot.  Wait what?  Ok none of that.  Saying that girls are hot is not going to help me convince myself that I’m not gay.  But I mean, Ashley, she’s just, beautiful.  Even when I was around her for that little of time I couldn’t stop thinking about her.  She makes me feel something that I’ve never felt before.  I don’t even know how to explain it.  All I know is that I really want to get to know her. 

“Spencer!  Hey Spencer, wait up!”

Hm…who is that calling me?  I only know 3 guys and that definitely didn’t sound like either of my brothers.  Oh!  Duh, it must be Aiden. 

So I turn around and what do you know?  I was right.

“Hey Aiden.  What’s up?” 

“Um, nothing really.  Well I was kind of wondering, I mean, I know that you’re going with Ash to tour LA and all but um, maybe this weekend, do you want to um, go out?  With me?”  And here is the supposed King of the school, or so I’ve heard, acting like an insecure little girl.  Wow, the guys at this school are definitely different than in my old school.

“Um, sure!  When’d you want to go out?”  Ok so I decided to throw the guy a bone.  I mean I don’t exactly want to go out with him but oh well.  I guess I’ll give it a try.  At least it’ll help me figure out this whole “gay” situation. 

And as soon as he heard my response, I swear to you that his smile was like a mile wide.  This guy is definitely easy to please.  And I mean that in the most innocent way possible by the way…

“Great!  Um, Friday night maybe?  At around 9?  There’s this club called Gray that we can go to if you want.” 

“Sure.  That sounds great.  Um, here’s my number,” I grabbed a pen and paper, wrote down my number, and gave it to him, “just call me when you’re ready to come pick me up and I’ll give you my address ok?”

“Ok great.  Well I’ll see you later then?”

”Yeah.  I’ll see you later.”  And with that we went our separate ways.  Now I’m left alone with my thoughts.  Hm…scary place to be!  I just don’t understand.  I mean, I’m attracted to guys but I’m most definitely attracted to girls too.  So what does that make me?  Bi?  Ugh, this is so confusing.  I don’t even know how I’m going to sort all of this out.  I wonder if Ashley is single.  Probably wouldn’t even matter…she’s probably not even gay.  Or bi or whatever the hell else there is.  Ugh, ok I give up trying to figure all of this out.  Whatever happens, happens.  And until then, I guess I’ll just have to go with the flow.