Two days have passed since my talk with Hayden. I’m home with the kids while is at work. She is a fashion designer but its not like you care. It didn’t seem right to tell her of the past events, so I didn’t. I mean I cant seriously tell her that I sent the divorce papers and Ashley choose not to sign them. Oh yea honey our kids want us to get back together. Then there’s the fact that I slept with her and I don’t know what to do. Yea? No. I’m not sure myself.

My uncertainty began the day of Hayden and Trinity’s fifth birthday which is Valentine’s Day and continued on, Saturday, the day of their party.

“Mommy, mommy we don’t want to go.” She whined. “We don’t want to go to grandpa Carlin’s.”

The eldest nodded her head. “Yea we want to stay with you and Jade.” I try to reassure them with a hug but it feels like those Davies puppy eyes and peering into me.

I guess I could tell you about my Davies twins. Trinity Michelle Carlin-Davies is my first born. She is just five minutes older than Hayden but you’d think that it was a year. She is THE boss. She has tan skin, brown locks, and my blue eyes. I would love to say that I contributed to her personality but I didn’t. My Ashley did, all the way down to her musical talents. She’s been singing since she could mumble. Not talking but mumble. I know, crazy. Plus she already is learning how to play the piano and the guitar. Now my Hayds, Hayden Maria Carlin-Davies. That’s my baby. She is so brilliant, not that Trin isn’t. She is book smart already, knows sign language and thanks to Dora, Spanish. She has short blonde hair, brown eyes and tan skin. When I look in those chocolate orbs, I can’t help but old a little regret in my heart.

“Please” they say in unison. The kicker is when they do the trademark Spencer Carlin pout, it’s genetic.

“Sorry my little ones, but we are going out.” I say holding them tighter than before. They look at each other thinking about what I just said. Their eyes then shoot up towards me.