Spencer’s POV

God, i hate how Ashley comes to surprise me like that. Like the way she stopped by my office again today. Okay, i admit, the first time i like it. It was really sweet and cute. This time i hated it, because i still didn’t know what to say. So the stupid excuses came out flying from my mouth. I’m mor than certain she knew i was bluffing. Of course she did. It was a lame attempt to get away from her. But it worked nonetheless. I know that i need to talk to her. And not just a simple talk, it has to be a loooonnnng talk. One that will clear the air and that will relieve us of our frustration. Next time she tries and talks to me, i will listen and i won’t go funning off. I’m afraid that, if i actually do talk to her, that i will end up getting mad and saying something hurtful. I don’t want to hurt her. That’s the last thing i would ever want to do to her. She means a lot to me, and whether i like it or not…she is a big part of my life. Everytime i think of something i want to tell her, i just end up contradictin myself and talking myself out of it. I really am at a loss here. But…i’ve finally decided that i’m just going to put it all out there. She needs to know just how badly she hurt me. I know that it’s going to get really emotional. But it’s something that has to be done, right? Yes, it is. Next time for sure…

RING RING RING.

It’s Jackie. Oh man, and Jackie! I can’t hurt Jackie! She’s a great person and she loves me. She’s not the type to break my heart. She’s just so…perfect. I love and hate that about her though. It’s all too predictable. I wish it was a little more spontaneous between us. Ash is so unpredictable. One of the many things i loved about her. I wish i knew what i wanted. Do i want perfect? Or do i want spontaneous and unpredictable? Ugh! It’s extremely frustrating!

Spencer: "Hello."

Jackie: "Hey baby. I miss you." How am i supposed to hurt her when she clearly cares so much about me. If i did, i would basically be doing the same shit Ashley did to me. Leaving her for my ex. That’s not nice. Not one bit.