Present



Do you ever wish you had an off button implanted in your brain? You know when you are just thinking way to much and its really not helping your situation at all.. Well today is one of those days. I just kissed my best friend, and then left her standing there like nothing happened. Don’t get me wrong, I have been wanting to do that ever since I was thirteen, but I am still shocked that I actually had the nerve to kiSs her! I mean I am suppose to be the logical one, who always thinks before she acts, well not today, that is something I can never take back, oh shit!! What have I done?


“Spence…Spencer, hello?


“huh yea Glenn, sorry.


“can you hand me that CD please, for the tenth time. Were is your head at?


“I have a lot on my mind I guess.


“yea like mom and dads news huh?


“oh yea that’s it.


Wow I almost forgot about the news we are suppose to find out when we get home. Wonder what the hell it is now.


“what do you think it is Glenn?


“don’t know, but mom sounded pretty upset when I talked to her.


Clay chimmed in from the back ” maybe were moving or something.


“no, mom and dad wouldn’t move us when we just started the new year, would they?


“I don’t know Spence, maybe.


We pull up to the house and all of us file out, one by one. Glenn opens the front door and my mom calls for us all to come into the kitchen.


” so what’s going on mom, what did you need to tell us all? Clay says eagerly.

She starts to cry and my dad puts an arm around her to comfort her.

“well kids, we have some bad news, my father starts to say.

“we know its bad dad, just tell us.

“kids grandpa was in a fatal car accident today. My mom says through her sobs. He was driving and slammed into a tree. His brake line was cuT, someone murdered him.

“oh my god mom that’s horrible. Clay says as he rushes to hug her and Glenn is not far behind.

I however have not made a sound, or moved an inch from that spot. As a matter of fact I think I’m even holding my breath.


Flashback

A couple months ago


“I can’t take it anymore ash, I hate how I still have to be around him like nothing happened. Like he didn’t rape and abuse me since I was eight. How can my mom act like how I feel dosent matter. How can she believe him?

“shh shh I know Spence I know. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I would do if this ever happened to me. You are so brave. Your mom is just worried about tearing her perfect Christian family apart. She is so blinded Spence. Maybe you should finally tell your dad. I don’t think he would react the way your mom did.

“no I can’t ash, not after all this time has passed. What if he tries to kill him, or divorces my mom, then I have to have that guilt on my shoulders to, I don’t think I could deal.

“you know I’m here for you always and forever right? I mean I would do anything for you.

“I know you would ash and I appreciate everything you have done. I just wish someone would cut his brake line or something and make it look like an accident, then I wouldn’t have to see him anymore.


“I’m sure my dad knows a guy that could have that arranged.


“haha yea very funny ash. If only it were that simple.


“yea ha funny. If only.

End flashback

“Spencer, you haven’t said a word, are you okay kiddo?

I have my head in my hands, and apparently I sound like I’m crying. My mom comes over to give me a hug and she then realizes that I’m laughing.

“Spencer, what has gotten into you, my father was just killed and you are laughing, how dare you. You should be ashamed of your self.

“I should be ashamed of myself? No mom you should. For not believing your innocent little girl over a dirty old man who raped and abused me since I was eight up until I was eleven. I’m glad he is gone..now he can rot in hell were he belongs.

At that point my mom had raised her hand and smcked me so hard that I had fell into the counter.

“what are you doing Paula? Do not toucn her again. My dad came over and placed his hands on my face and looked into my eyes. “Spence, is this true, he really did that to you?

“yes dad he did and I tried to tell mom, but she said I was lying, and told me not to tell you because it would upset you.

“oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry. If I knew..if only I would have known, I could have protected you.

I was sobbing now into my dads chest and he was rocking me and telling me it was going to be okay and he won’t hurt me anymore.

“kids go upstairs please, I have to talk to your mother.

We were walking towards the stairs and the look my mother was giving me was so full of hate that I had to turn away. My brothers followed me up the stairs and both said they were sorry they weren’t there to protect me and gave me bone crushing hugs before I went into my room and shut the door.

I could here screaming and cursing for a good fiffteen minutes before I heard the door slam and a car speed away. I had to talk to ash. As if right on cue I heard a knock on the front door. Then there was a knock on my bedroom door. I went to open it and there she wad, the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on.

“hey you…you okay?

“I am now ash, I am now.

I broke down in her arms and she never let go until I feel asleep.