Chapter 5- Self-Evaluation:
-Spencer’s Point of View-

Oh Jesus. I’m in trouble. I don’t know why I did what I did the other day but it scared the living hell out of me. I have never kissed a girl before but it was so thrilling to have kissed Ashley in the bathroom. It was friggin’ amazing, I can’t explain why but when our lips came into contact for the first time, I felt like a missing part of me was filled in completely. She just knew exactly how I wanted to be kissed and she knew how to satisfy my sexual hunger that day… Oh my God. I’m getting turned on just thinking about that woman. I think I should just stop thinking about her but that’s impossible! She lives in my backyard and every time I see her, my heart melts. I don’t know what it is about her that gets me heated. It might be the way she sways those sexy hips of hers when she walks, the way she flexes her arms when she does something physical with them or it might be the way she smiles at me with those semi-thick lips as she exposes a very strong jaw-line. It could also be the way she purposely bends in front of me when she’s wearing a tight v-neck sweater that shows her perfectly rounded breasts. I might as well cut to the damn point. Everything about her is so fucking attractive. I have to admit something else as well. I can’t shake the image of her being nude and wet out of my head anymore. Every time I try to, my conscience kicks me in the ass and tells me ‘Spence, you might as well place yourself in a mental institution if you plan on forgetting the image of Ashley’s naked, wet body.‘ I couldn’t even think of a good response to that until I realized I was having a conversation with myself. It’s just incredible how a person, let alone another woman, can get me worked up this way.

Uh-oh.

I can feel myself getting wet in between my legs just thinking about Ashley. Is that even normal? Fuck. I’m a virgin, why am I feeling so sexual lately? Before Ashley bombarded herself into my life, I had no sexual desires whatsoever. I used to have everything figured out myself before I met her at the airport. That’s when everything started falling out of place. I’m not even sure if I should consider that a bad thing because a huge part of me is happy that a girl like her desires me. Oh man.  Listening to Nine Inch Nails’ Closer single isn’t helping me much either. I should really stop this song because the lyrics are reminding me of Ashley’s kiss and touch.