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    Nowheresville – (Chapter: The Morning After: Chapter 7 A)

    I wake up in Spencer’s arms. I smile. I never smile when i wake up. She looks so perfect. I reach out and trace the contours of her face. She opens her eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes, I swear they’ll be the death of me.

    "Hey!" I say softly.

    "Hey, listen… about last night… I um…. I’m sorry… I just got caught up in a moment. It won’t happen again." Spence says moving away from me looking at the sheets.

    "You don’t have to be sorry. It’s my fault! I was stupid! I shouldn’t have made you." I say. You idiot! Look what you got your self into! It was wrong of you to make her kiss you like that. Girls don’t do that with each other! Now she thinks you like her THAT way, the wrong way, and doesn’t want to hurt you letting you down. Way to Screw Up!

    "You’re not stupid. I was the one who said we should play Truth or Dare." Spence says trying to console me. Damn it Spencer! You said you were done being gay! You said you weren’t going to be like that. But she’s different! She won’t hate me. She won’t desert me. No! This is not what you want! But she’s hot! and in your bed, think of the possibilities! NO! I gave all this up and that’s how it’s gonna stay!

    "Well you know it’s not like it means anything. We can just pretend it didn’t happen." I say trying to stop the guilt from from burning through my stomach. It does mean something! She’s your first kiss! How could you even say that you could pretend it didn’t happen. The only thing you’ll be pretending is that you kiss again. Stop it! Don’t even start that again! You don’t wanna be like that anyway. Mom would disown you if she found out.

    "Yea. I guess you’re right. We can just forget about it." Spence says still not looking up at me. Maybe if you tell her she’d understand. She didn’t freak out about the kiss. She wanted you to do it. Maybe she likes girls too! Maybe this time it won’t be as bad. WHATEVER! If you say something everything is gonna fall apart, just like before.

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