The Unconventional of Ways

CHAPTER 1

Spencer’s POV

Sometimes you can find love in a completely unconventional way. It throws us through loops and curves and turns our lives upside down. In the end it always has a way of working out, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard to get there. My name is Spencer Carlin; I’m 27 and have been with Carmen for about five years now. We got engaged over two years ago.  At first we were really excited about it, but now it seems that she isn’t interested in the planning anymore. We don’t even have a date set yet.

That’s what I am trying to do with her right now; set a date. Carmen and I are sitting on the couch. I have both of our date books out trying to find a date for the wedding.

“How about August 8th?”

“What day is that?”

“A Friday.”

“I guess that’s cool.”

“You guess? Carm this is our wedding we are talking about. I don’t want guesses. I want a definitely,” she is starting to aggravate me. Lately the lack of enthusiasm in planning has been driving me insane, she was the one who proposed in the first place. I can tell something is up. I call her out on her recent shit. “Honey, what’s been going on with you? Ever since we started planning, you have been distant. Almost like you don’t want to go through with this anymore.”

“Spence, I do, I do want to marry you but when we started planning it was sinking in and it was all just so real you know? Like together forever. You have been the only person I have ever been with sexually. I feel like I have sewn my “wild oats.” I haven’t even slept with a guy before and I feel like if I am truly going to commit to us and this marriage that I want to do those things first.”

I love her. Only Carmen can be this honest with me. I feel guilty in some ways. I met her when she was in her first year of college. She was a student and I was a grad student working on becoming a media specialist, by the way, that’s just the more modern way of saying librarian. I can’t help that I love to read. Anyway, it was love at first site. Carmen didn’t even think she was gay before she met me. I was her first girlfriend her first everything. And well, she wasn’t mine. I had just left my fiancé at the time. He was a great guy and I tried so hard to love him but he wasn’t what I wanted; he wasn’t a woman. I know what it’s like to be with a man I know what it is like with other people. Even though she isn’t missing much I feel like I am robbing her of her college years where you can fuck up and there are no worries. Part of me feels like she should sew her wild oats so she won’t turn her back and cheat on me when we are married.