THUD THUD THUD THUD

The usual “unce unce” was going on overhead at Humphrey’s as I was downing my 4^th shot of tequila.  Four delicious shots, down the hatch.  This was after two vodka cranberries and a Dos Equis.  I was laughing hysterically at this point, while Ashley looked on.  Let’s not kid ourselves, though, Ashley was matching me shot for shot. 

“Ashhhley,” I slurred, looking over at her with a look that I probably thought was sly, “let’s dance!  I fugging love this ssong!”  I hopped up off the stool and fell over into the bar.  Luckily for me, Ashley caught me from behind, preventing me from splitting my head wide open.

“Whoa, there, Tonto, maybe we’d better slow it down for awhile,” she yelled over the music, smiling. 

“Psh!  No way, I’m great!”  I grabbed her hand and pulled her out onto the dance floor.  This time, however, we were not immediately approached by shark-like males looking at us like we were bait on a hook.  It was just she and I dancing together. 

“Together” became closer and closer as the song progressed.  I, in my completely inebriated state, began by flailing and jumping around like a monkey on ecstasy.  Ashley, always cool and calm, eventually guided me back down.  She guided me right into herself, in fact.  I was dancing with my back to her front, and she was holding my hips.  I had my arms out in front of me, swaying and grinding in time to the music.  It was hot.  Temperature wise, that is.  We were both sweaty and panting, and the longer we were dancing the hotter we became.  Her hands that had been guiding my hips traveled slowly downward until they were  resting on the front of my thighs.

Is she pulling me into her? I thought as we danced.  Yes.  She was totally pulling me into her.  My ass and hips were pressing into her groin, and you know what?  I liked it.  I was so turned on.  So turned on that when she turned me around I turned readily.  We were now dancing face to face, and she pulled my by my belt so that our hips and groins collided into each other.  I let out a barely audible moan, the sudden pressure was so intense.  I put my arms over her shoulders while her hands guided my hips so that we were grinding into one another.  At one point our foreheads were actually touching and we were looking into each other’s eyes.  We were so close together…

You know that expression “one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor”?  Well, I think that expression is really based on truth.  After one becomes intimately acquainted with tequila, one also becomes intimately acquainted with the floor.  Except in my case, it wasn’t me that became acquainted with the floor; it was my dinner.  And lunch and breakfast and dinner from the night before.  All over Ashley’s pumps.

“Oh my god,” Ashley whispered, her eyes huge.  I don’t really recall vomiting on Ashley, or falling forward into her after desecrating her shoes, but apparently that’s what happened.  She said later that a circle spread around us like Moses parting the Red Sea.  Ashley put my arm over her shoulder and guided a stumbling me out of the club.

When Ashley had finally steered me back into my dorm room (after a quick stop in the bathroom to clean up her shoes), she laid me down in my bed.  She took off my coat, shoes, and jeans and tucked me in.  (Again, this is all what she later told me).  I don’t really remember much more of that evening, other than waking up every hour or so to run across the hall and vomit again.  Each time, Ashley would get up and follow me into the bathroom, holding back my hair and rubbing my back.  I would then half stumble, half crawl back into bed. 

This continued throughout the night until about 6am Sunday morning.  I finally had everything (and I mean everything) out of my system, and I slept until noon.  When I woke up, the sun was shining on my face.  Groaning, I put my hand to my eyes to shield myself from the light and simultaneously massaged my throbbing head.  Suddenly I remembered Ashley and looked over.  Wrapped up in a blanket, Ashley was in my desk chair, leaning all the way back with her feet up on my desk.  Her mouth was open slightly, and there was a touch of drool threatening to leave her mouth and slide down her cheek.

I smiled to myself and rolled over to go back to sleep.