3 months…

I was lying in my bed still letting the tears just run from my eyes and Spencer’s arms were around me then she whispered in my ear

“just try and sleep…I’ll be here when you wake up, I promise…” she told me then I sniffled and closed my eyes and thought to myself how badly I wanted Erin to be there, just to see her little face and blue eyes making everything ok…

A little later, I still couldn’t sleep so I got up softly not waking up Spencer, and I went down stairs to get some water and my mom was in the kitchen, so I just walked past her to the fridge

“it’s not easy for me you know…” she told me then I looked at her “…you and this choice…it’s not easy for me…then again it isn’t easy for a lot of parents…” she added

“it’s not easy for me either mom…”

“then why…why are you choosing this?”

“no one chooses to be gay mom…” I told her “…I’ve been this way, I’ve just been to caught up in cheerleading and being someone who’s overrated…” I explained to her then she said nothing “…it’s not easy for me mom. Regardless of what you think…it’s not easy…” I said before going back up into my room, and then I saw Spencer sleeping in my bed and she woke up a little when I came back

“where’d you go?” she asked me in a groggy voice

“couldn’t sleep…” I told her “sorry to wake you up…” I apologized

“it’s fine…” she said simply sitting up “…how are you?” she asked

“same as before…” I told her then she sat more up

“anything I can do?” she asked

“um…you could kiss me…” I told her smiling a little then she smiled back and kissed me letting it linger, then she pulled away and I looked into her eyes and smiled kissing her again then we laid back on my bed not letting our lips break apart “…you know, when you kiss me it’s like the rest of the world disappears…” I told her through a kiss

“I know what you mean…” she replied pulling me into another kiss and I let my hand travel up her side as her hand ran along my stomach making my abs tighten then I pulled my shirt over my head because she kept messing with the hem “…there we go.” She said and I laughed at her throwing my shirt to the side of my bed and then I straddled her waist pulling her up so she was sitting, then I pulled her shirt over her head and we both smiled into another kiss