Chapter 6

There was time for deep breathing before Spencer took her position for the first serve. It wasn’t the thousand pairs of eyes watching around the court that had her nerves jumping. It was one pair , dark brown and intense, seventy-eight feet away. Jelena Jankovic, age 23, turned pro at the age of sixteen and is now one of the best players in world. She had energy, force and drive, along with fierce will to win. Spencer recognized her very well. The red clay spread out before her, waiting.

Because she knew the importance of mastering the skittish nerves and flood of doubts, she continued to take long, deep breaths. Squeezing the small tennis ball, Spencer discovered the true meaning of trial by fire. If she won here where she always had difficulty winning before, three years after she had last lifted a racket professionally, she would have passed the test. Rome, it seemed, would always be her turning point.

Because it was the only way, she blocked out the past, blocked out tomorrow and focused wholly on the contest. Tossing the ball up, she watched the ascent, then struck home. Her breath came out in a hiss of effort.

Jankovic played a strong, offensive game. A studied, meticulous player, she understood and used the personality of clay to her advantage, forcing Spencer to the baseline again and again. Spencer found the dirt frustrating. It cut down on her speed. She was hurrying, defending herself. The awareness of this only made her rush more. The ball eluded her, bouncing high over her head when she raced to the net, dropping lazily into the forecourt when she hugged the baseline. Unnerved by her own demons, she double-faulted. Jankovic won the first game, breaking Spencer’s serve and allowing her only one point.

The crowd was vocal, the sun ferocious. The air was thick with humidity. From the other side of the hedge Spencer could hear the games and laughter of the schoolchildren. She wanted to throw aside her racket and walk off the court. It was a mistake, her mind repeated, to have come back. Why had she subjected herself to this again? To the effort and pain and humiliation?