And fuck was I miserable.

I tried dating this girl I met at a bar, her name was Kendra.

She kinda looked like Ashley. Maybe that’s what attracted me.

Or maybe it was because I was wasted. I dunno. But we’ve been dating for two months so far.

I fucking hated it.

I was being fake again. After Ashley came around I was able to be myself. But now I was faking happiness in another fake relationship with a girl I barley knew for a stupid rebound.

Ashley had left six months ago. I’d been moping for four of those months, but today was Kendra and my two month anniversary.

Did I lose you?. I hope not.

Anyway, after Ash left, I think I went insane. (Well, a little more than I usually was. Ya know, the whole talking to myself bit.) no, this was worse. While I was awake, I was with Kendra. But in dreamland, I was in a whole different world. Then I started having hallucinations that Ash never left,

I felt bad I was doing this to Kendra.

But after our first month together, I stopped feeling bad.

She was abusive.

Why was I still with her?. I was desperate really. I needed to be with someone. I couldn’t be alone.

Today, Kendra and I decided to spend our two month anniversary at the park. Great night time walk, watch the sun rise, all that corny shit.

We were sitting on a bench by this old tree I used to spend a lot of time around. I was trying to see a shape in the stars when Kendra suddenly spoke.

"Spencer, I love you."

That caught me off guard. She told me she loved me, but I couldn’t say it back. I cant lie about something like that. My heart belonged to another. A gorgeous brunette with golden brown eyes and…

Kendra broke me out of my thought process.

"Look at me Spencer," she grabbed my face with one hand, it hurt, she was grabbing a little too tight.

"You don’t love me do you?" she asked, and took my blank expression as her answer. She shoved my head back and walked off. I thought I was going to get whiplash or something.