Here I am. Once again I find myself parked down the street just staring at her house. We haven’t spoke in months. I haven’t seen her beautiful crystal blue eyes first thing in the morning like I use to. I haven’t felt her touch, her kiss, or her soul at all in the last six months, and its all killing me. All I am is a body with no soul without her. I’ve lost everything I’ve ever known. I’m empty. Completely gone. It’s like Death stopped by but forgot to take me with him. I feel dead inside. And its all because of how stupid I was. How selfish I had to be. I couldn’t think about us, I had to think about me and what I wanted. Now look what I did. I lost the girl I knew was the one for me. I broke her heart. And now I’m breaking my own. I wish I could take it all back. Every god damn thing I did. I never to hurt her like this. I never wanted to make her feel like shes nothing in this world when shes everything. I grip the steering wheel and close my eyes tightly thinking back to when I fucked everything up.

     I was sitting at Ego. I was upset because we had a fight. I was slowly drinking the stress away. By time I was drunk. I was stupid. I saw a girl that I use to hook up with and I felt like I needed take me stress out by doing what I use to do best. Fuck’em and leave’em. And thats just what I did. I brought her back to my place. We had sex numberless times. I was too drunk to care how selfish I was being. I was too drunk too care what happend after that night. And I was too drunk to notice Spencer walk in the room.

      What happend then is what lead to now. I feel like shit for breaking her heart and I just want to disappear so I don’t have to deal with seeing her face. Because I can’t deal anymore, everytime I see her I just want to hold her and tell her how sorry I am and how stupid I was and how much I still love her. But we both know that wasn’t going to be good enough. We broke apart and haven’t talked at all in 6 whole months. All thoes months where I was in hell. I wanted to talk to her so bad. I still want to talk to her, but I know she wont listen to me.

     I slowly moved my car so that I was parked right by her house now. I was just staring up at her window, hoping to see her. I wanted to take in her beauty once more. I sat there for a few more seconds before thinking maybe I don’t want to see her, what if she sees me. I sighed to myself before driving past her house and going back to my appartments. Have you ever heard that one saying: Its better to have loved lost then to have never loved at all. I dont believe it for a second. I’d rather have never loved at all if I knew I would lose it and feel like this. But once again I’m being selfish. But that’s just who I am. Ashley Daveis, the one and only.