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Never Settle – (Chapter: The Black Period)
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Ashton, Alexis and A.J. – 13 years old (Part I)
Hey, Mom here again. We’re all living a nightmare again. Our Alex is sick again. I’m so angry and feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do. The first time it only took one cycle for her to beat it and now she’s on her second and she’s still not in remission. If this one doesn’t work the doctors are talking about doing radiation next. I am so upset and I really don’t know what to do. I’m not the only one feeling like this. I know you all are but it’s just that I feel that I have to remain strong for all of you when the only thing I want to do is crawl into a hole and cry. I just want to make this go away.
This entire nightmare started again when your Mama took Alex to her check up 4 months ago. We didn’t see this coming. Alex was feeling good. She was a happy active 13 year old. But that came to a screeching halt with one stupid phone call. The doctor called later that night to let us know that it was back and that Alex had to go back into the hospital. So we went through the torture of sitting you guys all down again and telling you that Alex was sick again but that she would be fine. Your Mama and I tried to make it seem like it was no big deal and that everything would be alright. Of course we really wanted to believe that but truth be told neither of us really knew if that was true. We have no control over this and that’s exactly what kills us. So that night I held your Mama in my arms as she cried herself to sleep trying to reassure her Alex would beat this again as I prayed with everything I had to make it true.
So now we are all dealing with this in our own way, which worries me. Let’s just say we’re not good at expressing our feelings in a healthy way. We are so damn good at bottling things up. I’m pretending to be strong and confident everything is going to be fine while in the inside I’m anything but. I’m scared out of my mind. Your Mama is too busy taking care of Alex to think about anything else. Ashton and A.J. are both dealing with it in their own way. Ashton is quietly rebelling and refusing to go see Alex at the hospital. We are the point that we have to drag her. She cut her hair, put red streaks in it and is wearing really weird gothic clothing. She’s also starting to skip along with A.J. While A.J. shaved his head and is taking out his emotions in his football games and getting into fights. He shaved his head as soon as Alex started her chemo again and keeps shaving it off as soon as there is any evidence of new hair. We all know he does it for Alex. Unfortunately some boys at school make fun of him which makes A.J. slash out at them.
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oh my gosh. wow! that was really intese, and i do have to agree that it was much needed. families do have their ‘black hole’ periods. it broke my heart when ashton told ashley she hated her. and when aj said that he should have protected alexis. )= gah! this story is so amazing! you are a very gifted writer! PMS
Ok, so I have no idea what you were talking about because I see nothing wrong with this update. This update was so, emotional, so…profound. I seriously had tears in my eyes the whole time. So many thing in this post broke my heart, but it was so AMAZING. I hope everyone gets together and just has a really good talk, because I think that’s what everyone needs. Great story, PMASAP.
this was a fantastic chapter it was so emotional with alex getting sick again and everything happening and spiraling down.especially ashleys fall of the wagon and going back on drugs.spencer on the edge and i can see why she reacted the way she did. by far the best chapter so far. this story is just amazing. and you can tell because everyone so far has written alot in their comments.can’t wait for more from this story i’ll be sad when it ends.pms!!!
ok this was intense i swear this may be the best story i’m reading as of late i love how u just apply the concentration of anger and a need to just be free ur taking this story to a whole new level with each update. Honestly i can’t wait to read the next update pms:)
oh my gosh. wow! that was really intese, and i do have to agree that it was much needed. families do have their ‘black hole’ periods. it broke my heart when ashton told ashley she hated her. and when aj said that he should have protected alexis. )= gah! this story is so amazing! you are a very gifted writer! PMS
Ok, so I have no idea what you were talking about because I see nothing wrong with this update. This update was so, emotional, so…profound. I seriously had tears in my eyes the whole time. So many thing in this post broke my heart, but it was so AMAZING. I hope everyone gets together and just has a really good talk, because I think that’s what everyone needs. Great story, PMASAP.
this was a fantastic chapter it was so emotional with alex getting sick again and everything happening and spiraling down.especially ashleys fall of the wagon and going back on drugs.spencer on the edge and i can see why she reacted the way she did. by far the best chapter so far. this story is just amazing. and you can tell because everyone so far has written alot in their comments.can’t wait for more from this story i’ll be sad when it ends.pms!!!
ok this was intense i swear this may be the best story i’m reading as of late i love how u just apply the concentration of anger and a need to just be free ur taking this story to a whole new level with each update. Honestly i can’t wait to read the next update pms:)
wow that was really intense, and so sad. The Ashton thing, when she said she hated her, I would have thought would have been her breaking point, no parent ever wants to hear that especially in the situation they were in, and the whole drug thing that was a bad choice from the first thought of it, but I get what she means by wanting to feel numb, in situations like that I would want to be numb too, thats was really intense. Great Job as always…can we have one with a good ending next time, and perhaps some funny stuff, after that I think it might be needed.
wow that was really intense, and so sad. The Ashton thing, when she said she hated her, I would have thought would have been her breaking point, no parent ever wants to hear that especially in the situation they were in, and the whole drug thing that was a bad choice from the first thought of it, but I get what she means by wanting to feel numb, in situations like that I would want to be numb too, thats was really intense. Great Job as always…can we have one with a good ending next time, and perhaps some funny stuff, after that I think it might be needed.
i’m actually glad you wrote this chapter because families are not all happy fun times its the hard and scary times too…it sucked that ashley felt like she had to hide her emotions from spencer, i get the kids but not her wife, spence just wanted to help her and by there but ashley pushed her away and used again. i agree that they both reacted badly and could have done something else instead but at the time they couldn’t see the other choice, at the end though they made up which is all that matters…great post pms
i’m actually glad you wrote this chapter because families are not all happy fun times its the hard and scary times too…it sucked that ashley felt like she had to hide her emotions from spencer, i get the kids but not her wife, spence just wanted to help her and by there but ashley pushed her away and used again. i agree that they both reacted badly and could have done something else instead but at the time they couldn’t see the other choice, at the end though they made up which is all that matters…great post pms