Pain… I never understood the notion of it until that day. How it sneaks up at you with no warning, holds you in it’s grasps with no mercy, snaps you in two. You never see the end of it…

It was as if that knife had pierced my heart, ripping it to shreds, destroying it. My breath hitched in my chest. I saw black. It happened in a split second but to me it was like eternity.

Denial:

I ran to her. I don’t remember doing so but I must have because she is in my arms. I’m screaming at her to wake up. I think I called the ambulance. Why did I call them? She is so cold… her eyes are closed I tilt my head trying to hear her heart then I feel it, the knife, that horrible knife like it’s a part of her body but it doesn’t belong there I should take it out… I grab it and seconds before I pull I hear a scream behind me.

"NO" I slowly turn my head my vision is blurry from what I can make out it’s Robert.

"Ashley don’t pull it out, she’ll bleed to death." He warns approaching me slowly like I’m a scared animal. What is he talking about? I look down again I see red everywhere in my mind I don’t comprehend it’s blood… in my mind this isn’t happening, it can’t be I love her and we are going to be happy this is not real I’m dreaming.

"Did you call an ambulance?" he asks me reaching us checking for pulse on her neck.

"Why should I call them?" I say slowly then I fell a sting on my cheek I think it was a slap.

"Ashley I need you to snap out of it Spencer needs you right now!" he says taking the phone and dialing. She needs me? why? I look down again and the picture starts coming together.

Please let this be a bad dream a trauma because of all that has happened. This is not real, not real… I closed my eyes trying to think. It was so surreal I was holding her rocking, Praying, begging. When I opened them she was still there bleeding to death… and all I could do was wait for the ambulance to arrive…