A/N: Sorry about the wait was busy with finals all week and then didn’t feel too hot. May 21, 2007 What the hell is my teacher talking about? I haven’t been paying any attention all day, all I’ve been doing is thinking about what Ashley is going to say. I feel sick to my stomach, I almost up chucked in first block. This day needs to hurry up, so I can face the enevitable. All day my friends have been asking me what’s wrong and I’ve answered in the same solemn tone, “nothing”. The bell rings signaling the end of class. I trudge out to my bus and plop down in the front seat like I always do and put on my head phones, and zone out listening to My Chemical Romance’s “Famous Last Words”. My stop comes much too quickly. I get off at the hell hole I’m forced to call “home”. I walk in the door with my head phones still blaring. I walk straight into my bedroom. I drop all my stuff at the foot of my bed. I sit down and pull out my cell and text Ashley. “ So, are we going to talk today?” I wait a minute. My heart is beating on overtime. “Yeah, I’ll call you in five”, she says after what seems like a lifetime. “Ok”, I say back. I grab my notebook that has the song I wrote in it, and my guitar. As I’m heading out the door my mother asks where I’m going. “I’m going to sit on the porch.” And then I’m outside, just strumming absentmindedly, not really listening to what I’m playing. I can’t find my stupid tuner so I don’t know what it was supposed to be. I hear her ringer and look at the phone for a second before hitting answer. I try my best to sound composed. “Hello”, I say. “Hey”, she responds sounding a little nervous and timid, which is really unusual. We sit in silence before I couldn’t take the silence anymore. “Does this feel awkward to you too”, I ask. “Yeah, it does”, she says. “Okay” “Um, so are you going to play the song”, she asks suddenly. “Um, I never found my tuner, so I’ll sing it accapella, if you want”, I say. “Yeah, alright.” Did I mention I’m shy as hell, so it took me a minute to open my mouth to say anything. I start singing and I can hear my voice shaking from both nervousness and the fact that I’m upset. I get half way through the song before I stop, because I’m about to cry. “Are you okay”, she asks. “Mhm.” “You sure”, she says sounding a little worried. “Yeah”, I say trying to convince myself just as much as her. “You did good”, she says. “Thanks”, I mumble. We’re quiet again after that. “You know, I spent half the day crying”, I say out of nowhere. “Why?” “Because, I don’t want to lose you.” “How can you feel so strongly about me, and you’ve only known me a month?”, she snaps. Man talk about a dagger through the heart. I didn’t say anything, I mean really what could I say to that? “Spence, I’m almost 19.” By this point her voice was cracking. I could tell she was on the verge of tears. “You’ll be 19 in July, and I’ll be 16 in September.”, I say thinking out loud. “That still won’t make a difference.” She said sadly. “I know”, I say. “I gotta go”, she says quickly. “Fine, bye”, I said before hanging up and sighing. I walk back in my house sighing. I go drop my guitar on my bed, before going back into the living room. Just as I’m about to sit down my phone vibrates letting me know that I have a new text message. It’s Ashley. “I’m in love with you, but you’re 15. You’re too young. I need affection. Like if I wanted you to spend the night with me, your mom wouldn’t let you. I need someone older.” I don’t even know what I said back, I just started typing. That’s one thing I’m good at, fast talking without really knowing what I’m saying. I’ll mean every word but won’t remember it. “I’m not going to break your heart, so stop breaking mine”, I said. “You think this shit is easy for me? I had to get off the phone, because I was about to cry”, she said. “I know, I could hear it in your voice”, I say. Her voice gives away her emotions, I cant tell when she’s happy, sad, mad, lying, or horny. I go right back in to my fast talking. An hour later she caves. Good thing too, because I was running out of things to say. “I’m sorry, and I love you alright”, she says. “It’s okay. I love you too.” I let out a deep breath that I felt like I was holding for hours. Things are okay for now. Now let’s see how long it lasts. (Ash and Spence together next chapter)