Can it be? Did I turn myself into her? Just thinking about it gave me the shivers… how could that happen? I’m me right? Can I be someone other then me? Billy, she was so strong, nothing touched her other then me… not Walter, not the beating nothing… I use to wish I had some of her strength but I never believed it will go this far…

"Are you o.k.?" Ashley asked me, noticing I was deep in thought. I was sitting in the room waiting for my next session with Robert; my new doctor. I was so confused I wanted Ashley to be my doctor…  The way she looks at me sometimes it reminds me of Billy and I feel strangely drown to her… I wonder if she can answer my questions. I feel like I can trust her… her eyes they are so…

"Spencer?" she says after I didn’t answer her previous question sitting next to me.

"What is she like?" I decide to trust her answers.

"Angel?" she asks and I nod.

"Well she can be a pain in the aa… umm she can drive you crazy sometimes… acting tough all the time. Cynical, know it all, lonely… but it’s just an act she’s really sensitive and wants to be loved…" she finishes looking away deep in thought.

"It sounds a lot like her…" I sigh and she looks at me.

"Billy." She says and I nod again. We are both quite for a long moment before I break it with another question.

"So why are you not my doctor anymore? Did I… did she do something?" I corrected myself and she smiles at me before answering.

"First of all she is you… secondly it’s nothing you or Angel did… it’s…umm… complicated…" she stumbled trying to find the words. I never saw her like that it felt like I was the grownup for a second, but I didn’t have time to think about it I was angry now which was a feeling I almost didn’t recognized.

"I’m sick of this! I feel like you are keeping stuff from me! Are you trying to spare me? I don’t need it I want to know everything! It’s bad enough that I don’t remember the last 7 years of my life you have to be cryptic about things now!?" I surprised myself and I could see it surprised her too. She was looking everywhere trying not to look at me. Her cheeks were red I believed mine were too but I was angry what’s her excuse?