Ashley and I haven’t been talking. It’s been a month.

I hate it.

I was gonna text her. So many times. I wanted to. She texted me a few times, but I couldn’t bring myself to text her back. I mean, what was I supposed to say?

I slammed my locker shut and slammed my head into it. This is bullshit. I’m hurting her. And I’m making myself miserable.

A hand shot out and hit the locker next to the side of my head. Then another on the opposite side. I turned to be face to face with Ashley. She had me trapped.

"Ashley…"

"You can’t avoid me anymore Spencer. We need to talk, and we need to talk now."

All I could do was nod. Then I swallowed my heart back down and I whispered, "I know."

"Really?. Then why haven’t you been answering me?" she looked kinda scary, honestly.

"I…just…"

Madison, again, interrupted. "Ashley, stop trying to convert Spencer. She doesn’t swing that way."

Ashley didn’t look away from me, "Madison, just shut up and leave Spencer alone."

"Fuck you Davies, she can speak for herself."

Ashley raised her eyebrow, "Doesn’t look like it. Because she probably would have done so by now."

And with that, she walked away.

Damnit. Damnit Damnit Damnit.

What now Spencer?… I don’t know Spencer, maybe you should stop talking to yourself and figure out what you’re gonna say to Ashley!… That’s WHY I’m talking to myself in the first place.

Oh great, I’m insane!.

I pulled out my phone and saw a text from Ashley. *Park. After school.*

*I’ll be there.*

We needed to talk.

And we needed to fix this.

I needed to fix this.

When I arrived, Ashley’s car was already in the parking lot. She was over on the bench we sat at last time. With a bottle of…liquor?

I sat next to her on the bench and she didn’t look over, just started talking.

"You know what really sucks?. I really thought we were getting along pretty well. But then we go and fight, and I just…I don’t know. I don’t get it."

"We were getting along perfect. I’m just an idiot. I’m sorry Ashley."

"Do you still mean what you said last month?."

Aw, shit. Did she really just ask that question?.

"Ash…I…"

"It’s a simple question Spencer."

Why does she always have to be right?

"Which part of what I said last month?" ha.

"All of it. All of the stuff you said before you stormed off."

Damn.

"Well, I meant the part about falling for you. And now, I think I really kinda, well, I might love you."

"You might?… You’re so damn indecisive Carlin, what about my feelings?"

"Well, what are you feeling?"

"I love you. And I know I do."

"Are you sure that’s not the alcohol talking?" I joked.

"I’m sure. I only had about, three shots worth. Believe me, I’m serious. Do you think I would have cornered you earlier if I didn’t?. it’s pretty much why I started really talking to you, and stopped the fighting."

"I love you too." I said under my breath.

She looked over and smiled at me. "I know you do. I just wanted to hear you say it."

"How did you…"

"Well, I could name off some reasons, but I mean really, you were totally staring at me that day you waited by my car. And then every time I’d talk to you you’d get nervous."

Damnit.

"…Oh."

"Yep."

"So, where does this leave us now?" did I really just ask that…

Before I could finish that thought, her lips were on mine. She was gentle, yet rough with passion. I’d never kissed a girl before, but this was so much better than kissing a guy.

I don’t think I’d ever fake a relationship with a boy again.

Now I have Ashley.

She’s all that I need.