3 months…

Two and a half weeks…Spencer and I still have no idea what is the next move between us, because I don’t know how to live with out her and knowing her she’s the same way when it comes to me. I found Keira the night that she and Erin got into a huge fight…Keira ended up with a huge cut on her neck and bruises all over her arms and stuff from Erin, but that’s substantial because Erin’s an athletic girl who’s been playing volleyball since third grade and works out every day.

I hate myself for everything that I’ve done because hurting my family was the last thing I ever wanted to do. I just don’t know what more I can do because I traded Jessica, whom has yet to hear about the label switch, and I’m giving everything I have…I just don’t know what more I can do to get Spencer back.

“hey you…” Kyla said coming out onto her back porch with me bringing me hot chocolate

“hey…” I said weakly

“how you holding up?” she asked then I looked at her

“I just miss my family…” I told her “…and I see you with Aiden and Nate…you guys are so happy and I just want that back…”

“I know you do…” she told me “…but I’m your sister and I’ll always be here for you no matter how badly you screw up…”

“promise?” I asked her

“absolutely…” she replied smiling at me “…we’ve been to hell and back with each other ash…I wouldn’t want any other sister in the world”

“me too…” I told her smiling “…plus we don’t really have mom and dad…”

“this is true…” she said smiling “…you remember the first Christmas when I told mom not to come because of how rude she was to you ever since Spencer?”

“yeah but she loved you because of Aiden…” I told her and she laughed

“yeah…but when I did that I kind of got mad at myself because I should have done that so long ago…” she told me

“yeah but you did it anyways…” I told her “…you know what I’m just mad about?”

“what’s that?” she asked me

“Spencer told me that I always made work my first priority even if it wasn’t my intention, and she was right…I never made enough time for them…”