I really do not know what is happening with her. She is starting to scare me more and more. I do not understand or see who she is anymore. I hate to think it, but I don’t. I feel like I am living with a stranger. Not my wife and mother to my children.

She will not talk to me. She does not tell me anything lately. I want my Ash back. I want the Amazing wife and mother to my children back. I miss her so, so much. She may be at home and not on tour, but this is worse. It feels like she is a million miles away. She has been home for two weeks. Fourteen whole days. But it feels like I have only seen my Ashley for about five of those days. I hate to say it but she has been a complete bitch to me.

The night she came home, after the incident of her grabbing me, she went back to my Ash. The one that I fell in love with and married. That evening we ordered take out, sat, and talked most of the night away. She told me funny stories of stuff that happened on the road and I loved it.

I know her passion is music, and I know that she loves the touring. I love seeing her face light up when she is talking about it, but I despise what it’s turning her into. Yes, I blame the music industry for taking my Ash away. I know she is stressed. She always is stressed when she is recording a new album and promoting the upcoming release of it. It happened with her first album; however, she did not get aggressive towards me. Yes, she was moody and snapped at me some, but that was all.

It’s just since she started recording this album that she has been drinking, to excess in my opinion. Do not get me wrong, I do not mind her having a drink. But every time she does, she is getting extremely drunk and just passing out wherever. I went to leave the house a couple of months ago, not long after she started recording the album, I opened the door to find her passed out on our porch, when I woke her up she gave the excuse that she didn’t have her keys and didn’t want to knock and wake me or the twins up. I knew she had her keys because I had handed her them as she left the house the previous afternoon.