Take My Hand

Dear Spencer,

            Life passes us by like towns on a highway. Towns are mere moments in the distance, but then there’s a moment that stuns us as it happens…and that instant, we know that memory will last a life time.

            This is how I’ve felt about you for so long, and finally I have the time and courage to wrap it up in a letter. Its sucked being in here because I can’t see your addicting smile, or your contagious laugh. However, I may be writing about negative things, but life would be a lot more negative if you didn’t help me get in here. Without you I probably wouldn’t be around right now. I know I told you I hated you, and you were ruining my life, but I was ruining my life myself. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

            I know I’m being told to write letters, but trust me if I didn’t want to I wouldn’t right now, you know how I’m the rebellious one. I could go on for pages telling you why I love you. You’ve shown compassion and love towards me, and you’ve made me laugh when I didn’t even want to smile. You’ve made me cry till I had no tears left and you’ve made me laugh so hard I’ve almost peed my pants, actually…I did that one time. You’ve been my best friend all these years, and it wasn’t until last week I noticed how lucky I was.

            You care about me, and I was too blind and busy shutting everyone and everything out of my life to see that. I know I’ll be here for another week and a half, but I know it’s for the best, even if I’m stuck in a room with a bed, one window and a desk. It’s basically like an air conditioned jail cell. Then again, I deserve to be locked up like this, not only to get better, but for everything I’ve put the people I care about through.

            My doctor told me to express myself to someone I know I can trust. Well guess what? You’re the lucky one that gets to hear about the skeletons in my closet. I have a dark past Spencer, and even though you’re my best friend, there’s things you don’t know about. When Chad and I broke up, it was because he told me I was a basket case he could no longer deal with. Maybe he was right, but even the most horrible people in this world deserve some respect. I have a dark past…and childhood has never been easy. You’ve seen my drunken mother, and well, you’ve never seen my dad because he’s never there. What I hate most is that I’m closer with him and I hardly see him because all he does is work. I’m sure it won’t be long until a divorce takes place, but hopefully what I’m going through now will only make me stronger.