I rolled onto my back again. I was getting restless. Spencer had been in there a long time. Groaning, I sat up on my bed.

“Mom, please!” Staying as still as I could, I tried to see if I could hear anything else. She was in the bathroom talking to Paula and had been for almost 45 minutes. This was killing me, just sitting here not being able to do anything. Fuck, I needed a distraction. Half-heartedly I turn on the CD player and flop back down on my bed.

Tell myself, on the ride home.
Getting tired, hating all I’ve known.
Holding on, like it’s all I have.

I hope everything is ok… I can’t lose Spencer…

Count me out, when it’s clear that I, find it hard to say.
And you, find it hard to care.

I wanted to see something that’s different, something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me.

I want to show her that I am really worth it…

Got this way, upfront but never true.
God I’m wrong, it’s just the way I am.

I love her too much and I think – everything we’ve been through, everything I put her through… I just love her too much to let go now…

…………..

Crashing down, any chance you hear.

I shot up from my sleep-ish state. There was another sob and something connected solidly with the door. Still a bit disoriented, I got to my feet as quickly as I could and swiftly sprinted over to the door.

Caving in, any chance that you, could see inside of me.

“I love her!” Spencer sobbed loudly into her phone.

“Baby, open the door.”

“I love her! Please, don’t do this!”

“Spencer, open the door!” I yelled franticly.

“NO!” She wailed. “You can’t… I hate you!”

“Spencer!” I was now ramming my shoulder into the wood of the door. “Open up!”

“I HATE YOU!” With one final hoarse yell, she ended the conversation. Finally the door opened and I stumbled inside to see Spencer sitting on the floor in front of the entrance crying broken-heartedly.

I sunk down next to her and took her into my arms. Looking up I noticed her phone on the other side of the bathroom. My attention was soon brought back to the girl I was holding.

 
And I don’t know what to say, It’s fine.

“Spence, what’s wrong?” She shook her head and buried it farther into my neck.

“Shh, shh, baby. Don’t cry, please angel.” I gently stroked her hair and brought her into my lap.

This isn’t Hollywood.
So fine, getting in your way.

Her big blue eyes looked up at me with such dependency and hurt.

“Let’s run away.”

I wanted to see something that’s different, something you said would change in me.

Everything paused for a few seconds as I took this all in: her beautiful features marred with anguish, us on the floor, the yelling and her desperate ‘I love hers’. We could lose everything; she already has.

Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me.

“Let’s run away.” I murmured making up my mind.

I’m taking a chance, this could be different.
This could be all I’m waiting for.
Taking a chance, this could be different.
This could be all I’m waiting for.

I wanted to see something that’s different, something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me.

Something that’s different
Something that’s different