I slam the door behind me. Wanting anyone, and everyone in the house to know I’ve arrived. I do it even though I know they’ll never hear it. Our house is far too big to hear anything.

Yep its true. The Carlin clan is rich, richer than rich actually… And now your wondering why I work in some shitty bowling alley? Well, for an answer to that you’d have to ask my therapist.

Apparently I’m not a ‘normal’ teenager. My health triangle is way fucked up. I’m pretty good with the physical side of it. But the metal, and social sides are more than just a little off.

What do you want me to say? I’ve never been much of a joiner. Nope, not Spencer Carlin. I like my alone time… I hate being around people longer than I need to be. People like to complicate life. Why? I have no idea. It’s just what they do.

I think something inside of them feels the need to make everything more dramatic than it has to be. Seriously, if you want to be with someone fucking be with them. You wanna cut yourself, go for it. Its your body, your life. Do whatever the fuck you want with it. I mean, as far as I know I only get one shot at life. Who the hell knows what happens after this? Not me. And that’s why I don’t spend time dwelling on things. I do what I want, when I want.

But I guess that’s what gets me in trouble. My outlook on life isn’t what my therapist says it should be. I shouldn’t think the way I do.

You can’t do whatever the fuck you want. Can’t be with who you want, can’t do what you want with your body, and you sure as hell can’t say what you want… Despite popular belief every aspect of our life is controlled by a higher power…

The first thing I do when I enter the safety of my room is latch my door shut. It’s not likely that someone in my family is actually going to take the time out of their day to see what crazy Spencer is doing.

But no matter how many times I tell them the maids can never seem to remember not to come into my room. I swear they’re always trying to force feed me. If I wanted food I’d get it myself. And if I wanted my room to be clean I’d get off my ass and clean it my damn self.