Spencer:

I needed something. I needed a lot of things.

More money.

More sex.

More furniture.

More cable channels.

But with all that necessity, what I needed the most was a break. A break from work. A break from the incessant pace of the city. I needed a vacation. You know, one of those things that normal people make time for? They usually call up an agency who sends them to some tropical paradise where they drink exotic beverages by the beach all day and have unprotected sex with other sunburned, drunk people.

That would be sweet.

But it wasn’t an option. I was too busy with all the things that I needed a break from in the first place. It was a vicious cycle that I had somehow volunteered myself for despite knowing I needed stasis. A moment of my own divine perfection in an otherwise imperfect world could’ve done the trick. But as I said…

Not an option.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. There was a large part of me—or at least an important part—that was happy. I was in love. Great job. Exciting goldfish. Beautiful loft. I just didn’t feel like I had the time to enjoy the benefits of my toiling. It was disheartening. It was frustrating. But mostly, it was reality. And I had learned many years ago that life was just that.

Life.

Whether it was going good or bad, just as long as it was going then you had to work for what you ultimately wanted.

I was a hard worker. If I wanted something, you see, I went for it like an STD on a co-ed. I’d always been that way. I graduated from college magna cum laude and not to mention with my virginity in tact. No eating disorders. No pregnancy scares. No hazing horror stories. Just an honors cord as I walked across the stage in front of my crying, applauding parents.

I got my masters in interior design and from there—the dream job. Gensler Architects. I was a consultant. I made more money than I should, but not enough to carry a light work load. That was for the big guys. And while I did have plans of getting there one day…it was simply not that day.