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Uncivil Union – (Chapter: Dresses)
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ASHLEY:
“Thirty bucks, dude. No joke.”
“Thirty bucks? That’s ridiculous.”
“I know, right? Yeah, when the lady rang me up I nearly committed a homicide…like a crazy, impromptu homicide. But the only weapon I had on me was a pack of Eclipse gum. Though, I gotta say, that packaging is pretty brutal. I’ve suffered many an unwelcome injury trying to pop out a minty quadrilateral.”
“No, no, no. You’re not understanding me, Ash. Thirty bucks for a dress is insane! You’re going to a gala for Christ’s sake!”
“What? So like, fifty…maybe sixty dollars, you think?”
“No, Ashley! People spend thousands of dollars on events like this.”
“Are you serious?”
“Very, very serious.”
“Oh my God. Dude, if I spend a thousand dollars on a stupid dress, I’m doing everything in it. I’m controlling air traffic in that dress. I’m wearing that shit to go play basketball. It’s going to be glued to my body when I die, man. I’m serious. What kind of dress is a thousand dollars?”
“How much did you pay for that gown you wore to the Emmy’s?”
“I bought it from a costume shop. So at any time I could’ve gone from Emmy-nominated teen queen to Disney’s Jasmine. So yeah, thirty-five bucks? And I pulled it out for Halloween that year. It was like the dress that kept on giving.”
“Wow.”
“Hell yeah, epic steal, right?”
“Something like that. Look, Ash, this seems like the kind of thing Spencer would take seriously. And you know what? You should too. Because if you don’t, she’s going to kill you.”
Man, Aiden was moody lately. Obviously the guy had finished the stack of books he borrowed from the library on assertiveness and leadership. Not everyone can handle a library card, people. Some people throw that shit around like it makes them God.
“No, it’s not even like that. Spencer is just as freaked out about going as I am. She told me so.”
“But she’ll have a killer dress. I guarantee you.”
“She’ll look killer in it, yes. But the dress is probably something she found at the last minute in the back of her closet. Trust me, I know women. Almost as well as I know fashion.”
“That being not at all?”
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Woo Love it!
You crack me up…I always end up giggling, yes I giggle…at least once in each chapter. When you describe Aiden’s orange muscles I pictured the Ommpa Loompa from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory….and that made me giggle more…I’m twisted what can I say!!…well you’ve kept me entertained tonight and I can’t wait for the next chapter. This one was brilliant as always!
damn i dont know how you do it.. this was such a great chapter but i cant believe that there are only two chapters left :(:( oh well i will enjoy it while it lasts PMS!
Good update.
ohhh i so love it. write more soon please!!
Amazing! I love how close they are getting. I’m sad that there’s only two left. I really love this story, I think it might be my favorite of yours. Fantastic update. PMASAP!!!
oooo what kinda question? i think im lost she cant ask her to marry her they already are :) so whats she gonna ask and omg i was laughing when ash was all like”yes,and a harness its under the bed” i was like she did not go there lol :) pms please great job :)
This was just too hilarious, i think i have a new fav one! PMS!!!
I loved it! Can’t wait for the next update!
come on dont finish it its got to continue cant wait for the galla and the big questions plz pms asap!!!!!!
fantastic! ms. bob ross… lmfao! ash is too funny. and you are a genius. only 2 chaps left… ahhhhh! i’ll be sad to see this end… totally a great source for some needed laughter! great freaking update, can’t wait for the next!