Title: 187

Author: Santeria187

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Present Day

"Do you know how serious this is? Every time you wake up in that cell and open your fucking eyes the only thing you’ll be able to think about is how many days you’ve got left."

The officer leans across the table and his voice drops a few octaves. "Right now, you might think you’re ready for death but I guarantee you that walk to the chair will be the most dreadful moments of your entire life."

He expects her to consume the fear he exudes across the table, instead, she returns it to him with a scoff. "You think you’ve got me backed against a wall." She laughs. "In a matter of moments nothing you just said will hold any meaning to me."

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10 Years Earlier

Desire – A longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment, sexually or otherwise.

            Her mother had always been an honest Christian woman. There were only two times the blonde could ever remember her mother missing Sunday mass. The first time Spencer had decided God had granted her the rare gift of flight. Of course this was all a figment of her imagination and when she jumped off of the side of the jungle gym she experienced the kind of excruciating pain that you look back at years later and still feel. Six weeks in a cast was only enough time to convince her that her wings had not yet fully developed.

The second instance was due to her father’s car accident. Still, even then, her mother had spent the entire morning on her knees in the hospitals church. Praying that God hadn’t decided it was his time yet. But God had decided it was his time and Paula had been devastated. The American Dream she worked so hard to create had been ruined.  Her dreams shattered by some drunken filthy street kid who’d never had a mother to teach him wrong from right.

That was when it all changed. Yes, her mother had always been sure to drill God’s lessons into their heads before but now it was far and beyond that. Every decision in their lives had become about God. At seventeen Spencer, Glen, and Clay were expected to be in the house at sundown. Paula had decided that there was no need for her children to be running about past dark in the city of sinners.

Spencer often wondered how her life would have unfolded if her father had not been taken from them at that time. Countless hours of her life had been spent fantasizing about being ‘normal’. Everything inside of her wished her desires weren’t so twisted, but they were. Ironically, as much as she hated those desires she could never stop herself from loving the way they felt when she finally gave in.

Giving in was like heroin to her. The first time you do it you already know its bad for you but you do it anyways. Each and every time after your first is the last time but it never ends. It’s always there, always running through your mind like a burning flame.

Caught off guard she takes in a sharp breath. Her thoughts had distracted her and she hadn’t had time to prepare for the sight of the brunette. She flips her hair in the same manner she always does when teasing the boys. As she studies the interaction the pounding of her heart is nearly unbearable. Although the slow touches and seductive smiles aren’t directed to her they still cause an avalanche within her heart. Spencer especially loves how the girl spins on her heel and rolls her eyes at the easiness of the gullible boy.

Just as quickly as she arrives she’s gone. The bell rings and her brunette disappears into the crowd. No matter, she’ll be here waiting for the girls departure. Spencer couldn’t help herself. For now Ashley was her desire, her heroine. But not in the same way the others had been. She desired Ashley to become her friend, her partner, and ultimately her playmate. If she could somehow court Ashley Satan would unlock the doors she could never find the keys to. She was so sick of playing alone and at this point it was no longer logical for her to continue this way. Why play alone when you can play with perfection?