“I saw her from a far. I watched her everyday as I slowly drawed her in. My friends called her another project. Another score. But I knew the minute she smiled at me that she would be the first person I fall in love with.” A.Z.

Chapter 4

Zace is mumbling slightly as she sleeps with me tightly incased in her arms.

She brought me back home and snuck me upstairs as I continued to cry. She brought me into the bathroom and took off my shirt and my pants and turned on the shower. She held me until the water got warm. She stepped out of the bathroom and I pulled all the strength I had and stepped into the shower. I couldn’t stay up so I slide onto the floor and cried harder. I think I was in there 30 minutes before I heard the door creep open. Zace slowly opened the curtain and just sighed. She stepped into the shower with all her clothes on and sat down next to me and pulled me into her. there was nothing sexual behind her actions.

“You need to let the water wash away your guilt Spencer…”

I gulped in response.

“After we get out of this shower, what you did never happened, okay? If you let this eat at you, it will destroy you.” She kisses my cheek. “If you become weak, it will take over for good.”

I haven’t been able to fall asleep. My mind is racing as I think of everything I have done. I know Zace is right with what she said, that I can’t let what I did control me. But how can I not?

I went to drugs after the first time… it made me forget for a short period of time and I loved it. I forgot that I was me. a freak. But at the same time my anger increased. I would snap at my parents, I would get into fights all the time and I always won.

Zace twitches slightly. “Spencer…”

I don’t answer, so she pulls me into her more. She sighs and lets me go and climbs over me so she can see my face. She pulls me into her again and kisses me on the forehead.