Just friends never seemed as hard as it was for that month and a half, I never hated a phrase so strongly as that one.  As there always had been between us, there were moments in which everything was so perfect that it took all my will to not kiss her or pull her into a loving embrace.  In those moments I settled for a friendly gesture because that was what she had asked of me.  It was trying, but worth it if it meant regaining her trust and spending time with her.  Even more trying was watching her go on various dates with girls that she always decided were just not what she was looking for.  I would, after much convincing, help her get ready every time and be there when she inevitably returned to my apartment and throw herself onto my bed in a huff and declare that she didn’t like them as much as originally expected.  That always turned into a moment.

Vanessa had moved out, despite my protests, as she had gotten a job across town after resigning from her previous position; her previous position that still remains a mystery.  She began working for FoolProof Records, frequenting local clubs in search for the next big band.  Hence her connection to Never Settle, an up and coming band headed by a feisty LA native, Anina.  It was through Vanessa that I met her and was invited to jam with them and eventually why she turned to me when she needed a singer for one of the songs they were scheduled to do at a show.

Over that period of time I had been getting more and more involved in the musical world, seeing as how I didn’t have much else to do and a job would have been just too much to ask of me.  So I wasn’t about to turn down the opportunity to get some face time with an already well established band to back me up.  The song was Time and Confusion, which turned out to be an amazingly beneficial twist of fate.  Both Vanessa and Spencer insisted on being there to cheer me on at my first performance with other artists in the trade.

“Okay people, we’re on in two minutes.  Let’s get out there and blow them away.  Ash, you’re gonna be up for the second song, I’ll announce you and you can come on out.  Oh, and don’t be nervous, you’ll be fabulous,” Anina stated.  I hardly listened as the first song began and ended before hearing my name called out and my feet dragged me out onstage.  I was extremely nervous with my painted on smile as I stepped up to the microphone.  The fakeness faded away as I saw Spencer standing and cheering with Vanessa at her side laughing wildly at the display.  As the guitar started, signaling the beginning of my song, I allowed my eyes to wander the crowd.