Fan Fiction
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My Alien Girlfriend – (Chapter: Is there an art to falling in love?)
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“She didn’t!”
“She did.”
“She didn’t!”
“She did!”
“She didn’t!”
“Madison!”
“Well, what did you say,” Madison yelled clinging on to her best friend’s arm as they walked to lunch.
“I slapped her!”
The Latina frowned, “On the ass?”
“Madison!,” Spencer scowled. “No! I slapped her across the face and called her a pervert!”
“Why would you do that?”
The blonde raised an eyebrow, “She asked me to mate with her,” she repeated stressing the words.
Madison shrugged, “Yeah. So?”
“Madison! Put yourself in my position! What would you say if Ashley just came up to you and said ‘will you mate with me’?”
The Latina licked her lips, “Well …”
“Wait! Don’t answer that!” Spencer interjected.
The Dean’s Office
“I do not get it, why doesn’t Spencer like me,” Ashley questioned as she sunk lower into the chair opposite of Zy’s desk.
“What exactly did you say to her,” Zyphorian asked.
“Will you mate with me?”
“Oh,” Zy mouthed.
“What,” Ashley panicked. “Why are you ‘oh’ ing at me?”
“Well Ash,” Zyphorian explained. “Asking a human to ‘mate’ with you is taken in a different way than it is back on our planet.”
“It is?”
“Yeah, it’s like saying … ‘let’s get that old oil into the fishnet and wrap a Zylon around your ear’ in Zygot dialect.”
“Oh no,” Ashley gasped smacking her forehead. “I can not believe I said that to her!”
Lunch
Madison rolled her eyes, “Girl, how can you not like Ashley. She’s so naive and cute!”
“No, she’s so stupid and annoying!”
“That wasn’t harsh at all,” Madison replied sarcastically.
Spencer shrugged, “It’s harsh but true Mads. It’s like she’s from another freaking planet!”
The Dean’s Office
“Do not worry Ashley,” Zy assured. “I’m sure within a week she will forget you ever said that to her.”
“You think?” Ashley asked hopefully.
“No not really.”
“Great,” the brunette sighed. “Well, should I apologize?”
“Yes you should.”
“Okay,” Ashley nodded thoughtfully. “Now, where am I going to find a dead fish to offer to her?”
“No no Ashley,” her friend said. “Apologies work different here on Earth.”
“You mean you do not offer the person a dead fish smothered in oil?”
“No,” Zy deadpanned. “You just simply say you are sorry and then give her flowers.”
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I love this story. It IS HILARIOUS!
Haha. Ms. Caldwell reminds me of my old drama teacher Ms. Niece. She was awesome. Great post. PMS!
god this cracks me up keep going
Aww poor Ashley she can’t do anything right, bless her. PMS please!
This was ridiculously funny, as always and I loved it! no, it wasn’t very long, but what you did have was so great. I’m glad spence feels something cause ash is adorable! I wonder what asking someone to mate with you translates to in english hmmm. awesome job, pms right freaking now!
hahaha!..wow that was hilarious!..i love the drama teacher!..someone should hide her meds so she says things like that all the time hahaha..Ashley is so awkward and i love it..awkward moments define my life so i can relate haha..and yay for sparks!..PMS!..
she tries to make everything work right then some how it goes wrong poor ashley
I freaking love Caldwell! omg that part about the damn machete had me cracking up. nooo she can’t take meds then she won’t be as funny!! and ash is just too hysterical. she tries so hard and just can’t get a break! great update and i’m with stix pms right freaking now!