I wish I could just run and be free. Free of judging eyes, and disappointed looks. This has always been my favorite place to go to when I’m upset. I love to watch the white tigers run and play. They’re so free and naturally beautiful. They don’t judge or lie like people do.

“A zoo Spencer? You watch too many movies.” I glance in Carmen’s direction then fix my gaze onto the beautiful creatures in front of me.

“It’s not a zoo. It’s a wildlife sanctuary.” I watch as two tigers lie together in the hot Los Angeles sun. If only it were that easy.

“What’s the difference?” Why did I have her come here of all places?

“A wildlife sanctuary brings in injured animals and releases them back to the wild when they’re healthy enough.

“Huh. That’s cool, I guess.” I roll my eyes and start to walk. She follows silently until we arrive at the cheetahs. “So are we gonna watch animals run around or we gonna talk?” Cheetahs are so fast and agile. Wouldn’t it be nice to be carefree like that?

“You know there are myths behind the cheetahs tear marks. One says the cheetah came to this Earth lonely, no other animals believed she fit in because of her unique characteristics. Another says the mother lost her child. She cried for so long the tears burnt marks into her beautiful fur.”

“Interesting.” I nod in agreement.

“I need answers Carmen. No more Lying.” I finally turn and give her my attention.

“Sure but can we get out of here that cheetah is looking at me like a hot empanada.” She chuckles and I can’t help but compare it to Ashley’s sexy husky one.

“Yeah. Whatever.” We walk silently to the park down the street and sit on a bench.

“What did you want to know?” She leans back and looks at me expectantly.

“So you guys… dated.” She nods so I continue. “Who um, who broke up with who?” I ask hesitantly.

“I dumped her crazy ass. She was losing it Spencer. Getting jealous and possessive. I couldn’t take it anymore she was starting to scare me.” I nod for her to continue. “After Kyla died she lost it.” I stop her right there.

“Ashley told me-“

“That I killed her? She’s sick Spencer. She made it all up in her head. The doctors said it was a way to cope with the loss of her sister. She was and is convinced that I joined some gang and killed her sister. What really happened to Kyla was and accident.” We sat quietly while I processed all of this information.

“What happened to Kyla?” Carmen’s sorrow filled eyes stare into my questioning ones.

“It was raining hard one night. Kyla, Ashley, and I were just walking back from a movie. It was dark and hard to see through the rain. A car didn’t see us until the last second. It swerved and merely missed me and Ashley but Kyla wasn’t so lucky. She died on impact.” I was silent for a moment then stood up.

“I need to go and think.” Not waiting for and answer I turn and start my trek home. This is all too much. What the hell am I supposed to do?