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Phoenix – (Chapter: Sex and Desperation)
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The full moon filtered through the exposed window highlighting the room in its light, allowing her to see the beautiful girl lying next to her. She loved everything about her, from the soft little mumbles she made in her sleep to her irresistible statuesque body. Spencer was perfect. Everything she could ever want in a person, everything she needed- she had attempted to leave three times since she fell asleep.
Reaching out, Ashley carefully ran her fingers up and down Spencer’s arm her eyes never leaving her sleeping face. Spencer was never good at hiding her feelings. “You’ve always been in love with me,” She whispered gently brushing the hair out of her face. She pulled her hand back and carelessly let it fall to the mattress. “And I’ve always been in love with you.” Her body craved something, anything, and once again she felt a deep regret. Gazing into her love’s sleeping face, she felt a sense of panic. “But you have no idea who I am.”
Reality hit her hard. What would happen when Spencer woke up? They would have to go back to their worlds eventually. To their very different lifestyles- Ashley attempted to get up, ready to bolt out the room, but stopped herself again.
She wasn’t going to ruin Spencer’s first time. She loved her too much and hated herself for letting her know it. For letting things get out of control. She rolled onto her back and stared up.
Drugs didn’t do much to numb the feelings she had for Spencer. They were deeper and stronger than any dosage of prescription medication. She would even think about her after several lines of cocaine, wanting her more than the high.
And now she had her.
Rolling onto her side, propped up on one arm, she gazed into her sleeping face for the thousandth time that night. Spencer slept soundly on her back, her head turned in her direction. You left me for him and no matter how hard I try to get you back, you never stay with me. Since hearing those words, she never wanted to leave her side again. She knew the blonde was oblivious to her own words, but they spoke the truth. A painful reality she saw in the living room. The raw anger in her eyes as she watched her dance with another girl and the pain and confusion that followed. She followed Spencer needing to fix everything, but what happened was so unexpected.
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aiden is an ass but he is trying to look out for his friend. ashley needs help not more people to abuse her and spence is the only one that won’t abuse her emotional or physically, maybe is aiden stepped up as well ashley may be able to get away from glen and drugs and all of that pms
man, this story is all to real for me :S such a good update, i rreeaally hope that spencer can help ashley turn her life around. pms
I know I don’t know you, but you are in serious trouble! I am running insanely late because I just couldn’t stop reading this story, start to finish. It’s fantasic, extremely well written, captivating, real, passionate, heatbreaking, but full of hope. You don’t sugarcoat and you make no appologies. The different dynamics of the characters are true to life and are refreashing in a painfully bittersweet way- I just realized how pretentious I sound, but to be honest, your story deserves the big words; not just the little guys. I often enjoy reading lighter stories where our girls are concerned, although I also like darker indie films, but I’m glad I kept reading; like you gave me a choice. I’m relieved that I kept reading, trusting how well-crafted your plot moves, the way you sling sentences together and the rawness of the story. Especially from Ashley’s pov. I’ve known people like her, crack users affected by their past and the things they do to continue their habbits, and it doesn’t ring false. I don’t want to sound condescending, but I find it very brave of you to continue writing such a dark story. It’s sometimes easier to gloss-over the tought stuff and keep it light, but you stick with reality and it makes the story that much richer and well done.
good god this was all so beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. I love that spence still told ash she was beautiful even though ash doubted herself. just shows that spence loves the inner ash just as much as the outer, possibly more so. aiden is such an ass and I felt terrible for ash at the end. I’m truly hoping that she can keep it together for spence’s sake and that they are able to eventually work things out. I have a feeling if aiden finds out that they slept together it will lead to some sort of drama. anyway fantastic once again. fantastic is an understatement. you get the point, pms!
Aiden’s a bitch! aww poor Ashley
Oh man, where to start. OK, so I kinda guessed Ash was using sex to get drugs/money but to hear it said is pretty harsh. Aiden in a fuckig prick and I’m not sure how Spencer’s gonna handle finding out her team mates have been abusing her girl….I’m guessing drama. But, the scenes between the two girls were awesome and intense but in a good way. Especially how Spencer made love to Ash and showed her how beautiful she finds her. I could go on and on about how amazing I find this story but I’ll save it for another time. I would also Pm you but my account here doesn’t work so it’s littledragonflyson on myspace. PMS!!
oh my god, this story is one of the best i’ve ever read… including published books! the pain is so real, my heart aches for ash. fantastic job, pms please!