6 months later

We have all pretty much settled ourselves here in L.A. now

Aiden’s parents and I sat Arin down and tried to explain to her the best way we can to an almost 4 year old how her daddy was gone to Heaven and so far both kids seem to be adjusting to the changes well enough.

Addison is still as cute as can be and to be honest he was always more of a mama’s boy and so young that I don’t think he will be too affected by what happened but Arin loved her Daddy so much that I want to make sure she understands that he still loves her no matter where he is.

I told her that anytime she wanted to go visit her daddy that we would

That first time she actually asked to go see him was the hardest

I still loved my husband no matter how bad he treated me in the end of our relationship

He was still my best friend

Arin had drawn a family portrait of all of us, even with her grandparents Marlin and Karen. We had it framed because she wanted to leave Aiden with something to put on his refrigerator in Heaven to remember us.

Smiling to myself I think about how the more often we went to visit Aiden the less painful it got and I even had moments where I would go and talk to him alone.

I asked him for advice

I told him about wanting to try having a relationship with women

I told him how much we missed him

But most of all I just sat and listened to him

He may be gone but he still lived in me

That reminds me of ‘The Lion King’

Can’t you just hear Mufasa saying, "he lives in you" and fading away into the clouds then laughing at Rafiki and his antics.

That monkey cracks me up

But back to what I was saying

I felt like I could still feel his heartbeat underneath me, moving the ground and guiding me to pick myself up and continue with my dreams and goals.

So after a while I finally listened to these movements and I started making moves to jumpstart my life here