It was 8:02 and still no sign of her. I’m trying my hardest to look chill, but it’s awfully hard when your heart is banging your ribs to pieces, anticipating the center of your life actually coming into your midst. My eyes were fixated intensely on the door, repeatedly going through a cycle of hearing someone coming, then having my hopes fall when it wasn’t her. Breathe, I command myself. Its been two minutes. That’s not very late. I tried to calm myself, but there were too many emotions attempting to control me. It was like having 10 dominating personalities in one small, windowless room. Anxiety. Excitement. Fear. Anger. Happiness. Sadness. Betrayal. Nervousness. Desperation.  They all screamed at me at the top of their lungs, each moment bringing me closer to some undecided dramatic gesture that I was sure I’d regret later.

I stared down at my twiddling thumbs, wondering what I would do… what I would say when she got here. Would I just say hi and initiate conversation like she hadn’t abandoned me those months ago? I wasn’t sure I could ignore the gaping black hole she had punched through my chest. Where do I even go from here? Do I tell her that she can’t be in my life anymore? My mind quibbled violently with questions, just adding to the symphony of noise blaring discordantly in this cranium of mine.

8:07. Still no Ashley. My heart rate quickened with each passing minute. I could feel my forehead pulsating, beads of sweat clinging to my forehead. I demanded myself to calm down once more. I couldn’t bear it if Ashley came down here and saw me in this state.

I looked around at the other kids to try and ease my mind. Different cliques sat at different tables, eating their breakfast over gossip. I overheard them discussing plans for tomorrow night. Thank God tomorrow was Friday. Was this the week from hell or what?

            My phone suddenly buzzed in my pocket, shaking me from the only non-Ashley thought I’d had all morning, and bringing me to the first Avery thought of the morning.

            ‘Hey Spence, where are you?’ the text read. Do I tell her? I mean she told me I could talk to her.