And this is how it feels when I ignore the words you spoke to me
And this is where I lose myself when I keep running away from you
And this is who I am when, when I don’t know myself anymore
And this is what I choose when it’s all left up to me

My pager beeped and I hurriedly jogged thru the hospital to the emergency doors where the paramedics where coming thru the doors.

As I was getting prepped on her condition and stats by one of the nurses who quickly walked next to me I felt my heart drop as I saw who they brought thru the doors quickly.

Breathe your life into me
I can feel you
I’m falling, falling faster
Breathe your life into me
I still need you
I’m falling, falling
Breathe into me
Breathe into me

“Ashley…” I whispered her name. The nurse must have seen my hesitance because she asked if I was ok.

I said I was fine before rushing over to the gurney. The paramedics giving me the run down before releasing her to us.

And this is how it looks when I am standing on the edge
And this is how I break apart when I finally hit the ground
And this is how it hurts when I pretend I don’t feel any pain
And this is how I disappear when I throw myself away

I felt my heart break even more when I started to take over and decided to just put my feelings on hold and try and save her life.

Drug overdoses where always the hardest to save people from. There was always so much already in the body that it would take a miracle to save them.

And that’s exactly what I was hoping to accomplish, a miracle.

Breathe your life into me
I can feel you
I’m falling, falling faster
Breathe your life into me
I still need you
I’m falling, falling
Breathe into me
Breathe into me
Breathe into me
Breathe into me

Right away I gave everyone a job to do as I worked as fast I could to get her to wake.

She was going and fast. “She’s going into cardiac arrest!” I yelled to one of the nurses.

Grabbing a needle and sticking it in her leg to try and stabilize her I saw her heart rate go down.