“So.  Bella.” 

Emmett’s voice was as matter-of-fact as I’d ever heard it, but I wanted to shut him up before he said anything else.  I knew, of course, what was coming. 

“There are some things you two should know before we go hunting.”

I cleared my throat meaningfully, but Emmett ignored me.

“Emmett, I warned you,” muttered Rosalie as she slid into the passenger seat.

Bella and I climbed into the back seat of the Jeep behind them. I tried to distract myself by buckling Bella in.  It was habit, I realized too late; but she let me do it anyhow, even though she didn’t need protection any longer.  She looked tiny in Rosalie’s clothes, but wearing her own human-scented ones was not an option; merely being in the same room with them had roused her bloodlust.  Now she stared down at her cold, white hands, and I caught one of them in my own, trying simultaneously to tune out Emmett’s thoughts and to will him to stop talking by glaring at him in the rear view mirror.  I knew both efforts would be futile.

“What?” asked Emmett, his profile angelic as he smiled at Rosalie. “They need to be prepared.”

I saw Rosalie roll her eyes just before she turned away to stare out the passenger window.  “It’s your funeral.”

Emmett loved it when Rosalie threatened him, and a sudden and vivid image of the two of them copulating violently next to the hulking corpse of a shared grizzly ripped into my mind.

I growled.  “Will you please tell your husband to turn his thoughts down a notch?”

Rosalie stared at Emmett in horror.  “Stop it!”  She smacked Emmett’s arm and he chuckled, starting the engine.  “Whatever it is you’re remembering, stop.” 

Now several more graphic images flooded me as Rosalie unconsciously wondered what smut Emmett might be picturing.

I covered my eyes … not that that would help.

“Aw, sweetheart, it’s not like I can stop thinking about it once it starts.”

She raised one perfect, threatening finger and held it near his grinning face.  “If you don’t quit it right now, I’m going to give you something else to think about.”