Tourniquet

The rain poured from the sky, painting the already soggy forest floor with another coat of water. The drops streaked down my pallid face, leaving wet, glistening trails across my cheeks. I was numb to all of this, however. I felt nothing of the pounding rain, not even the large drops that splashed into the eyes that stared upward at the sky, seeing nothing. I couldn’t feel anything at all. I was numb.

A crash of lightning lit the sky with a blinding flash, dilating my pupils and putting blue spots in my vision. I didn’t try to blink them away; I only lay on the lichen and branches staring into oblivion. I don’t think I could have moved my eyelids if I wanted to. I couldn’t locate any of my body; it didn’t even feel like it belonged to me anymore.

Images flashed through my misted mind; memories that seared through the numbness like a blade. I saw his face; his perfect, angelic face. I heard the voice like velvet flow through his beautiful lips.

I also saw him running through the forest, supporting me on his back, smiling like he had not a care in the world. The image of him in the meadow, sitting in the sea of wild flowers, sparkling like a precious gemstone. I saw him lean down and kiss me in that same meadow. That brought on the onslaught.

I was assaulted by image after image – all of sweeter times when he’d loved me enough to kiss me. Had those times been false, every kiss a lie? Was my entire life in Forks leading up to this point just one, big mistake?

I felt a sudden pain, the first feeling I’d felt since he’d left, in my torso. It was so powerful that I gasped in shock, then pain. It felt as if a gaping hole had been torn through my heart, through my entire self. The edges throbbed with an actual, physical pain that was akin to burning alive. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, trying to will the hurt to pass. The numbness didn’t return, though, and I was left writhing on the forest floor.

I didn’t know how long I’d been on the ground, gasping and on the verge of screaming, when I heard something. It sounded like footsteps, many people at once, trudging through the woods. I wasn’t interested; I was much too caught up in holding myself together. I bit my bottom lip, swallowing a scream in the process.