I had failed in my conquest to keep Bella safe. I just couldn't stay away. It was an impossibility. Still, I battled with my inner desires, reminding myself of all my previous arguments. But it was almost as if Jasper was influencing my emotions. It was inevitable that I lose to my wayward, human-like feelings.

Now, crouched beneath her window, it took all my shattered self-control to stay where I was, to not barge into her room and sweep her off her feet. I'll just look in, I told myself. See if she's okay. One little peek, that's it.

Swiftly scaling the wall, I hung out of sight, readying myself for just a glimpse. I wasn't sure if I could lay my eyes on her, then look away from the dazzling sight, but to not see her at all would be utterly wrong.

My eyes flashed through the familiar room, pausing on the bed, Bella lay on her side, curled in a ball, her hair covering her face, her arms tightly holding her chest. At first I thought she was asleep, her heartbeat was so slow and dull, but then she stiffly sat up, rubbing her hand across her face.

I feasted on the sight of her. God, she was beautiful. But somehow different. Paler, skinnier, her face lined with hurt, and the way she held herself… like she was constantly afraid someone would wound her.

Did I do that to her? Did I truly transform her, though not the way she wanted, into this emotionless, zombie-like creature? Bella was obviously not human anymore. No human could carry the pain I read on her face. She'd crossed into the supernatural realm and gathered the strength to not break down, the strength that I must not have had, since I was here now.

I felt a heavy twinge of doubt. Would my angel want me back? Could she want me back, after what I'd done to her? 

I continued to watch her as I wallowed. She wearily sighed and lay down again, closing her eyes, wrapping her arms around her chest again. I wondered at the position. Could it be that she, too, was trying to stop her heart from falling out onto the floor, as I had been attempting to do?