Chapter 1: First Moon

BELLA. 

I was a monster.

After running non-stop for nearly three days straight, I had finally gotten to the point of exhaustion, though only minimally. I felt wary, mostly from the conflicting thoughts that raged war in my head. If I were to have any tear ducts left in me, I would have cried myself to sleep, without a doubt. Not that vampires could cry, let alone sleep. The thought only furthered my depression and sorrow. I would have to remember what I have done for all eternity. Without dreams to escape this reality. It would be a never-ending nightmare… filled with the frightened faces and screams of my victims.

Standing in the dark, desolate mountains of Alaska, I could feel the cold, snow-filled winds brush against my stone like skin, brushing past like breath upon stone. If anyone were to stumble upon me now, they would have thought I was simply suicidal, wearing naught but a white cotton dress shirt and a long, tan skirt. The weather had a reached a deadly degree of below zero, and even my feet– white and bare– felt nothing against the ice-like snow that covered it.

I continued to walk until I had reached a place far enough that no human would reach me. After finding a comfortable spot to sit, on a small boulder that sat below a thick tree with ensnaring, broad roots, I dropped my face into my knees and pulled my arms over my head.

I was a monster.

It had been exactly one month since I had changed. Since Edward, my god-like, beautiful vampire husband, had changed me into what he was. It was something I wanted, of course. Something that I had chosen for myself, but even so, nothing like I had ever expected.

I predicted that I would become a beast, a creature that only thirsted for the death of humans, but I had never expected that the want, the need to kill, was so completely overwhelming. It frightened me, knowing that I was a fiend who had visions of murdering people. Who wanted to murder people. And I was terrified, even more so than the visions and urges, I was mortified at the fact that just three days ago I had fulfilled my dreams, this demons thirst, and satiated the unbearable hunger that had wished to consume me.