27.11 Tuesday

Lying on my bed in the morning, I marveled at the miracle that allowed me to return here yesterday alive. For one moment of horror, I had been sure it would have been the last second of my life. After all, I had known all along that it would happen sooner or later, that Edward’s control would finally snap. He had wanted to kill me that first day in the demolished building, and the fact that he had claimed to love me some time after that hadn’t changed who he was – a vampire. I had always known the image of those creatures in ‘Twilight’ was too good to be true and for not even a second had I forgotten about what the name of the species really meant. A vampire was supposed to be a deadly monster who fed on human blood without even a slight hint of remorse. In some of the stories about them, they didn’t even have a defined personality; all they were capable of thinking was of relieving their eternal thirst, drowning it in the hot, tasty liquid flowing through our veins. Their world was ruled by their bloodlust. The image was all I needed to justify Edward’s mood swings and his problems with bad temper. No matter how much he tried to be human, he couldn’t become one; just like I couldn’t change into a vampire with only a force of my imagination. Although my life with him had became whole and happy (despite our constant problems), there was no doubt in my mind that I would end up dying by his hand; or teeth, for that matter. I considered it a price I had to pay, because for everything in this world, we had to pay sometime.

So when I had seen the look of pure rage in my boyfriend’s eyes, I had been sure my death hour had come. I could have sworn he had lost himself! But nothing had prepared me for what he had done next.

Flashback

The darkness faded from his face and he laughed loudly, throwing his head back, making me consider him insane. As surprisingly as they started, his fits subsided.

“Someone’s trying to pick you up, I see.” His light tone was forced, it was plain to see. “How can he succeed while I’m here?” He winked at me, attempting to lighten the mood, but failing. I was still looking at him in shock, unable to say anything. Edward’s face fell slightly. “Stupid jokes,” he almost growled, squashing the letter in his hands into a small ball and tucking it in his pocket. His strong arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me to him, forcefully claiming my lips with his. It looked like he found a new outlet for his raging anger, and I had to admit, it was much more pleasurable than smashing cars and other objects that were so unlucky to be around – including me. I could still feel all his emotions through the kiss: disbelief, rage, jealousy… desperation?