Controlling

The night and the day had become forever.
The first darkness of this forever, I thought about everything.
I was still sobbing in his tight arms. But I only cried dry tears.
Edward was still humming very soft in my ear. My lullaby.
Normal newborns couldn’t remember their human memories very clear, but I saw them all in my head.
All of them. The good ones…but also the bad ones. The thought of them made me shiver.

“What’s wrong?” Edward asked.

“Just another memory.” I whispered.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“You know all of them.” I answered shortly.
Then he kissed my eyelashes very gentle.

“Isn’t there anything I can do?”

“I don’t know. There is so much to think about, there are so many memories, so many visions,…”

“Ssst, my love. You can control it.”

“But how?”

“I’ll teach you when you’re ready.” He said, his lips barely touching mine.
I thought about his words for a while, it only could have been a couple of seconds. Since my mind worked on high speed.
He can teach me. He hears voices everywhere and manages to pick out the necessary ones. Can I do that too? Can I block my mind from the other visions? Is that why Edward can’t read my mind, because I block him?
I was ready.  I knew I could do it.
I did it before, actually I was doing it whole the time.

“Edward.”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“I am ready.”

“Sure? It’s very intensive.”

“Yes.” I whispered.
He pulled me of his lap and wore me outside.

“Let’s go then.”

“Where?”

“You’ll see.” He laughed a little smile

“Edward, where are you going?” Esme asked as we passed her.

“Teaching Bella how to use her gift.” He answered over his shoulder.
Nobody said another word. Only six even breaths in the silence of this breaking dawn.

“Be safe.” I heard Alice whisper after us.

We ran through the forest. Running wasn’t so scary anymore.
I could see every detail now with my new eyes.
Every shape, every color.
Every piece of the world.
Every part of Edward’s white colored skin.

“I can run for myself now, Edward.” I whispered, not wanting to lose this visions.