He took my left arm and placed the blade of razor next to the fresh scab of my newest cut. I looked to his face for a reaction.

The bright moonlight that shone through my window clearly illuminated every feature. His lips were parted in terribly concealed shock. His eyebrows were pulled together and the honey color of his eyes was filled with pain and grief. The rest of his perfect, pale face glowed.

“You used this?” he breathed.

I snorted. It was obviously a rhetorical question. The length of the cut matched perfectly and it was the only thing I was holding when he saw me in the shower. Only now could I finally smell the rusty scent of the blood left on the edge of the blade. I wondered if he could smell it too.

I watched him carefully as his face slowly composed itself. At the same time, he pulled the razor off my arm and tossed it away. I silently hoped he would move it. The last thing I needed was a hospital trip for stepping on a razor.

“Why?” he asked, his voice strangled.

“Because you left,” I whispered back. The tears began to streak my face again. He was so upset; the pain in his voice was terribly obvious. And the memory pushed me over the edge. He pulled me back into his arms and held me as I cried.

“Why do you still do it?”

“The fear. The memory,” I managed between breaths. He held me closer and tangled his limbs with mine. The silent message was the only promise he could make for me to feel better:

Edward loved me. He wasn’t leaving.

The tears slowly retreated as I held onto him with all my strength. He didn’t move an inch in his effort to remind me of the statement repeated in the last week. I took some comfort from his never-ending attempt to convince me. Perhaps he wasn’t leaving. Maybe his regret was sincere and he would stay.

I smiled into his chest, telling him I finally believed. His apology was accepted and his promise was understood. I trusted him and certainly hoped he wouldn’t change his mind again.

A chaste kissed was placed on my forehead and he pulled away just enough to look into my eyes. The love in his eyes shined as bright as a star. The seriousness mixed in was both comforting and frightening.