“Exactly what about Edward and Jacob do you think about?”

I looked around the room again, trying to collect my thoughts, and locked eyes with the owl. At the same time, Edward squeezed me closer to his body.

This was the moment I wish I could stay lost in. How could anything be better than this simple perfection? Wrapped in two, strong, comforting arms, I was content. Watching such a beautiful creature as the owl, I was mesmerized.

But alas, I could not. Instead, I had to submit myself to the hour of torture named ‘therapy.’ 

“I remember the day Edward left. We were in the woods. And we talked. Then he was gone, his family was gone – I was alone. A hole in my body formed from his absence. Without him, I wasn’t complete.

“Then I overheard some students from school talking about cutting. I decided to see if it worked. And it did – for a while. But then I cried again and decided to cut again. So it became a need rather than an experiment.

“But it’s okay because the cut was just a visual. I was able to see the hole in my body bleeding and healing. To believe I was getting better helped a bit. I never intended to kill myself. I think.

“Months later, I became closer to Jacob. He was my sun. I was happier with him. Yet I still wasn’t completely healed. Edward was gone and I can’t live without him. Jacob was just there to help.

“Obviously, Edward’s back now. But the memory still hurts. Every time I see or think about Jacob, all those terrible months come to mind. I’m always afraid Edward’s going to leave again. Everything I have, I ruin. Including his love. How could Edward, or any one, care for me after seeing how bad things have become? I don’t deserve happiness anymore.

“At the same time, he says he won’t leave. And I believe him. So I don’t know what the problem is anymore. However, I know for sure it’s not Edward’s fault.”

The room was silent for a few minutes while we all digested what I had just said. At some time during my speech, I was turned to face Edward. He took the quiet moments as a chance to crush me into a loving hug and smother my forehead in kisses. I felt much better in his embrace.

“I love you, you know?” Edward whispered, eventually breaking the silence.

“I do,” I managed to respond.

The room was silent again until Nancy decided to speak up.

“I think that’s plenty for today. I’ll see you on Saturday. Okay?”

I nodded my head and Edward helped me stand up. Exhausted from everything we had gone through today, I stumbled on my way out the door.

Nancy’s waving figure smiled at us as we drove off. The ride back to Forks was silent – as always. I wondered what Edward was thinking, but I was too tired to ask.

Once at home, I changed into pajamas and crawled into bed. Homework and a shower could wait. Edward came through the window and lied down to me just seconds later.

“I love you, Bella. I’m not leaving,” he said, stroking my hair.

I rolled over and curled up next to his figure. The scars and cuts continuously burned since my speech, and the cold numbed the pain. It was soothing to have Edward so close.

“Go to sleep, love.”

My lullaby filled the room shortly after the words. I lied still, waiting for unconsciousness to come. Minutes later, the bliss of sleep overtook my world.