Bella's POV

There came a point where life just wasn't worth it. I couldn't continue on pretending that everything was "fine, just fine," when in reality, every second tore at me with razor claws. With this realization in mind, I approached Charlie and flatly said, "Dad, I'm leaving."

His eyes went wide with shock and a hint of betrayal. I held up a finger so he wouldn't interrupt. "I'm done with high school. I'm eighteen. And, honestly, Dad. It's time. I've been accepted to that college in Alaska, and I'm going today."

A pained look crossed his face but he nodded. "I'll miss you."

I couldn't look into his eyes as I hugged him. Anxious to escape, I hurried to my room, then collapsed on my bed. I sighed. It was amazing that Charlie had believed me. My lying skills must have improved. Of course, I did have quite a few secrets to keeps. A whole family of them. 

No, I told myself. Don't think about them… yet. Wait. Just a little longer.

The truth was, if I let my carefully placed shields down in my mind, I would completely break down. So I would mechanically do what I needed to do each day, using just enough brain power to get by.

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I've gone insane, I thought. I've finally lost my mind. 

I had no intention of going to college. I could barely keep my defenses up around people I knew and loved. How was I expected to get by in a place that was totally unfamiliar, without the random memories that both sunk me and kept me afloat?

Pushing my truck to its limits, my road trip to Denali would probably take a few days, so I had way too much time to think. And free time was something I'd desperately avoided before.

So I thought about what I was doing, and why I was doing it.

My logic was probably flawed, human as it was, but I couldn't deny that I would never move on. No one could ever hold any kind of attraction for me, because I was too altered. My mind was irreversibly changed, and it was up to me to make the most out of my head's loss.